Pimp Daddy Nood

I received a bill today from Noodlez Pimping Services. I enlisted their pimping services a few weeks back when Luke and I started dating, I thought “hey, a pimp might help”, little did I know what said pimp was charging me…

pimp bill

Pimp Daddy Nood is one damn expensive pimp! I was saving up for a Powerbook, but this bill is going to eat into half of my savings. Luke and I broke up yesterday (I won’t go into details), so I have to pay some silly MDP fee because of the early break up instigated by me.

Now, where did I put my health card?

Conversation

Conversation I had with my magic 8 ball

Kitta: Bob sent me a magic 8 ball and I’m asking it all sorts of questions, it’s so much easier than thinking.
Kitta: Should I go make dinner?
8 ball: Why not?
Phobia: Ask your 8 ball if I should go and buy dinner.
Kitta: Should Phobia go buy dinner?
8 ball: How should I know?
Kitta: Well, you are a mother fucking 8 ball.
8 ball: Sure.
Kitta: Don’t take that tone of voice with me young 8 ball!
8 ball: I’m cool with that.
Phobia: OMG, that 8 ball is pretty cool.
Kitta: Go to your room.
8 ball: No way!

I think my 8 ball is possessed by a smart assed teenager. πŸ˜•

Blast From The Past

It’s amazing the lame things you find whilst spring cleaning files…

Blast

The adventures of stick Kitta and Ella, photoshopped circa 2000. Look at how thrilled stick me is standing next to the stick TNT.

Was = way.

The Lion's Cage

Candy’s blog seems to be coming along fine. At first she didn’t blog for days while 16 people left comments urging her to do so – making her the most popular blogger to never blog – and today she saturated her blog with about 30 entries, including this little gem

Kitta: “Putting on cat ears gives you the urge to lick yourself.”

Oh fuck, what have I unleashed?

All the years I have posted things she has said is going to come back and bite me in the ass, hard. It’s like I have strapped a slab of meat to my leg and walked into the lion’s cage, and I designed the bloody cage! I’m going to have to watch what I say around her from now on, keep my words to a minimum, make sure she’s not wearing a wire and put on a phoney accent.

Yes, that will stop the dumb shit I say from being leaked online.

Westse.cx

Have you ever noticed that the Westnet’s logo resembles something, something that a company wouldn’t want their logo to resemble…

Westse

Like Goatse.

Some of my friends (whom I won’t name because they’d probably get Dooced) work there and whenever they email me from their work address I can’t help but laugh at the logo attachment.

I don’t think it’s their service that sets them apart, it’s their logo. πŸ˜‰

Candy's 21st

Candy’s 21st pimps and bunnies themed party was last night, and oh what fun it was, Candy got drunkity, drunk drunk and I took 364 photos as evidence (and blinded everyone in the process), below are just a few of my favourites, the rest can be found on flickr.

Candy's 21st

I was a cute bunny, all night I kept checking to see if my tail was still attached, I wonder if real bunnies do that?

Candy's 21st

Yes, that is me grabbing Candy’s ass. I grabbed it as a joke, forgetting that there were about 5 cameras at the ready to capture the moment. You can thank Luke, who took the picture, for the Kitta and Candy porn.

Candy's 21st

“You want Noodlez knob don’t you?” everyone wanted Noodlez big, long, hard, pimp stick.

Candy's 21st

Candy and Sarah, aka: Bunny and Kitty. “Where’s Sarah?” “She’s in the corner purring and licking herself.”

Candy's 21st

Walking through he bar where all the regular drunks were was interesting, they gave us “am I drunk or did I really just see some hot bunnies and a few pimps walk through here?” looks.

Candy's 21st

Candy looking at her new blog, fluffyboots.net, that Phobia and I made for her as a birthday present; we spent most of the night trying to remember the log in details.

Candy's 21st

Nurse Tiffy, paging nurse Tiffy. “Kitta are you putting your hand on Tiffy’s ass?”

Candy's 21st

We went into McDonalds (as you do) and Sarah convinced the manager to let all the staff have their photo taken with us (also as you do).

Candy's 21st

While we were at Macca’s, we started talking to these people and took their picture, I told them to check out my website for the photos, so if you’re reading this, hello, and please leave a comment! πŸ™‚

Candy's 21st

Had nothing to do with us, we swear!

Candy's 21st

“Give Noodlez his knob back or he’ll have to take you into the bathroom and strip search you.”

Candy's 21st

Candy and I are camera whores.

Candy's 21st

“My bunny ears have been on so many heads tonight, they have STBD’s”

Candy's 21st

Adam playing with sparklers, he looks a tad menacing with them.

Candy's 21st

Rumour has it that there are some videos of Candy and I dancing together out there someone, I’d just like to point out it wasn’t me, it was my evil bunny twin who looks like me.

Beautiful Lips

The worst pick up line anyone has ever used on me was said to me on my first day of high school and forever set the tone of my high school days…

Lips

Guy trying to pick up: Hey, you have really beautiful lips.
Me: Why, tha…

He interrupts me off before I could finish thanking him.

Guy trying to pick up: They’d be great for giving head.

Little tip fellas, do not follow up a compliment with sexual harassment, it never goes down well.

Out Of Sight

You know you need to book an eye appointment when you put on you 52 year old mothers (36 in Mum years) glasses and can see out of them perfectly, crystal clear. You have a moment or two where you switch the glasses on and off trying to figure out just how bad your eyes are, focusing on a far off street sign, and you finally laugh nervously about just how bad your eye sight has become.

You blame your eyes, good for nothing eyes, they should have paid more attention to the thousands of mail outs that the optometrist has sent you over the years – Ò€œwhere are you, are you dead? Think of your eyes, make an appointment today!Ò€ the letters scream from their glossy housing on the leaflet that also promotes a buy one pair get one free offer – and less attention to the camera house brochures. You dare not go back to the optometrist. You fear they will take your eyes away from you because you have neglected them so badly.

You’ve been a terrible eye parent.

Technorati Poll

A few days ago I received a package from Ryan, it contained some Technorati stickers and a shirt that I begged asked him for. In return he asked me to post photos of them on Flickr, so I did, and I am now going to be forever remembered as that technorati tummy girl. As Ryan said, of all the things he’s accomplished at his internship at Technorati, him sending me a Technorati shirt and me modelling it will probably be the one everyone remembers.

There has been some speculation as to who wears their Technorati swag best, Paolo and Ryan suggested a poll to find out who looks more sexy in their Technorati swag. So here it is…

Who is the hottest Technorati swagger?

Kitta

Myself, well more like my tummy, looking sexy in a white short sleeved Technorati shirt.

Paolo

Paolo who isn’t actually wearing a Technorati shirt, but since he went to so much effort making a fake one he’s being including. In the above picture he is trying to recreate my now famous tummy pose. I think this is a start of a meme.

Eris

Eris is sporting a lovely transparent Technorati sticker on her chest which is framed nicely by her silky hair.

Niall

Niall is wearing a black short sleeved Technorati shirt and doing an alluring ‘leaning on the desk’ pose.

Matt

Matt is wearing the black long sleeved Technorati shirt and expressing the ‘go away coding’ look.

Leave your vote in the in the comments, voting closes on Sunday the 14th of August 2005. May the best swagger win.

Vesna's Vagina

Is it just me, or does anyone else think Vesna from Australian Big Brother talks about her vagina a bit too much? She’s been washing her vagina, scared for her vagina’s well being, singing about her vagina and talking non-stop about her bloody amazingly multitalented vagina. I predict her vagina will be more famous than she will on her depart from the house…

Gretel: “Please welcome, Vagina! Oh, and umm… Vesna.”
Crowd, who are all dressed as vagina’s: “Wooohooo, Vagina, Vagina, Vagina…”

Look out for vesnasvagina.com.

Update…

Adam couldn’t resist registering vesnasvagina.com and re-directing it to this entry. I should have seen that one coming.