Irish suit wearing man
A few days ago I was sitting at the kitchen table chatting with my friend Candy, the topic of conversation was the type of guy I should date…
Candy: “I know the type of guy who’d be perfect for you.”
Nikita: “Oh here we go…”
Candy: “He’d be tall, have brown hair and wear a suit, oh and he’d also be Irish.”
I give her a look, a ‘what the hell are you on?’ look.
Nikita: “He sounds like a wanker.”
She laughs and she tries to correct herself, but then I start laughing, she places her head in her hands and mumbles something which I can’t make out.
So according to my friend, a tall Irish man in a suit is the way to go. I, on the other hand, think she’s nuts and really needs a holiday. But it got me thinking, what would the perfect guy for me be like? So I made a list…
- He’d kill evil spiders without laughing at me while I do the spider dance (the spider dance pretty much consists of me jumping up and down, waving my hands around and yelling “Spider!”).
- Be a night person (because if he was a day person we’d drive each other insane).
- Someone who doesn’t use alarm clocks.
- Someone who blogs, because I don’t want to go through that whole “So what is a blog?” conversation every few months.
- He wouldn’t mind that I buy 5 g-strings that cost $25 each and happily donate towards my addiction.
- Someone who owns a lot of really cool books that I don’t own.
- He’d have to get my sense of humour and make me laugh when I’m in a horrible mood.
- Someone who’s shy and doesn’t have a fake personality.
- A guy who is creative and challenges me.
- Someone who doesn’t lie or bullshit to me.
- He’d love me as I am, and not try to change me.
- A guy who doesn’t own more hair products then I do (I don’t care what the Fab Five say, there is such a thing as too many hair products).
- Someone who wouldn’t think I’m nuts when I do my ‘crazy joe’ voice (if you know me well, you’ll know what I’m talking about).
- He’d love the fact I sing ‘throw your arms around me’ too much, and even join in.
- Someone down to earth, that likes the simple things in life.
- And most importantly, he has to be able to give life altering back massages (give me a back massage and I’ll love you for life).
(Note: It’s not that I don’t like men who wear suits or Irish men, suits look fantastic and Irish men are funny and cute. It’s just those two things together are a bit odd. I mean, could you imagine an Irish man wearing a suit all the time? It would be totally wankerish.)