Established in 2002
Thank the net gods for online (browser) window shopping. It takes little brain power and keeps me entertained for hours. No more photoshoping Frankie Muniz on Linsey Lohan’s body during fits of boredom.
Some of my favourite online stores are Emitations for anything shiny (especially their brooches), XOXO and Victorias Secret for clothing, Game Head for GBA and PC games, Aus PC Market for computer components and of course eBay for tops, beads and used souls.
I was standing in Dicky Smiths today, contemplating what cables to purchase to increase productivity and decrease the amount of times that I knock my head on the desk above me and swear like a banshee whilst plugging in USB or headphone cables, when I overheard an elderly lady talking to a salesman about a USB thumb drive…
Old lady: Where do you put the batteries in?
Salesman: Nowhere, it doesn’t need batteries, you just plug it in.
Old lady: Ohhh.
The salesman nods and smiles.
Old lady: But what powers it, it must take batteries, really small ones it looks like.
Salesman: Nope.
Old lady: Are you sure?
Salesman: Yes.
Old lady: Hmm. I don’t know about this, it must take batteries; I’ll have to ask my husband.
Salesman: Ok, come back when you find out if a thumb drive takes batteries.
Old lady: Oh, I will.
I love old people. đ
A house for sale sign magically appeared on our lawn while we were out today.
(Crappy picture courtesy of my new LG L1100 camera phone)
Now this wouldn’t be out of the ordinary if our house was on the market, but it isn’t. We rang the real estate agent and told him about the predicament, he apologised and said we must have had a bit of a shock upon returning home. Yeah, you could say that. He blamed his assistant (the beatings won’t cease until ‘for sale’ signs appear on the right lawns) and said he’d pick it up tomorrow. My mother took the sign down straight away, I told her to leave it there, so we could freak out the neighbours (who adore us and never ever want us to move) and friends, but we clearly don’t see eye to eye on evil jokes and she took it down.
I sat in a doctor’s office watching the doctor struggle to write a letter. He was trying to delete some text, but backspace was being temperamental. He kept trying while I sat there thinking “Del dude, del”. He then finally gave up and said…
Doctor: “You’re the computer genius, what do I do?”
Me: “Umm, del.”
Doctor: “What?”
Me: “Delete.”
He gave me a confused ‘What is this language you speak of?’ look, I replied with a sigh and lent over to hit ‘del’ for him. The text magically disappeared and all was good… Applause ensued, streamers flowed around me and I was presented with a bouquet of flowers and a tiara (the …’s represent where I started being sarcastic).
I’m a del genius.
We have a problem… Camp is a chewer.
She didn’t let her problem come to the surface during the first few weeks, she was clearly trying to hide it, but then the urges became too strong and she JUST HAD TO CHEW SOMETHING!
The something’s started off harmlessly with her large variety of toys. She de-caped her dog beer, de-squeaked her daily rover, and gnawed away at her ball on a rope. But that wasn’t enough, oh no, the toys didn’t quench her insane thirst to chew something, and this morning she finally sunk to all new chewing lows…
She chewed a wooden door stop.
We’re now contemplating counselling to help her deal with her chewing addiction.
I’ve had a few people mention that they can no longer access my site at their schools, workplaces and universities (why you’re trying to access my site when your meant to be studying or working is beyond me) because Kitta.net has been listed as porn.
Yes, porn.
I have a suspicion that the ‘Mr Cunt’ entry has something to do with the net nannies radar (or porndar) being tripped off and alerting the masses to my sites pornyness (after all I did say cunt 5 times). Either that or the little red monkey has been shaking his ass for dollar bills somewhere on this site without my prior knowledge.
This revelation has now sparked a new saying among friends… “You’re so porn” Which is to be said when you do something porn worthy or fantasticly porny.
Looking on the bright side, I can now casually slip into conversations that I own a porn site. đ
Happy Easter. đ
My legs seem to be getting around a bit…
I’m sure you have your own set of legs which are quite lovely Miss CherrieVanillaKissesXX, so please refrain from stealing pictures of mine. Thank you.
[Update]
Where’s Durstan?
You can’t find him on the cover of his soon to be published book ‘Professional CSS’, but you can find him at the Big Day Out. Who am I talking about? Why Durstan (formally know as Dunstan) of course.
He gets around a bit this Durstan fellow.
Dearest internet, meet Camp. She’s a two year old Jack Russel x Terrier x Blue Heeler, and is now officially a part of the family.
For those of you wondering, there is a story behind her name and it doesn’t involve a gay couple or a Kylie concert (the joke has been made, let us move on). She was found abandoned and wandering around a campsite in Queensland two years ago, and the people who found her named her Camp because she was found on a camp site (lucky for her she wasn’t found at a rubbish dump or she might have been named ‘Dump’). She made her way over to Perth soon afterwards and lived with a nice old lady who feed her chockie bikkies for a year or so. Sadly the old lady passed away, as old ladies tend to do from time to time, and Camp had to find a new home (with the help of her trainer).
After a few ‘getting to know you’ days we said that we’d love to keep her, she has a few years of advanced agility training and pet therapy under her collar, so we’d be mad not to want such a loving and well trained dog. We’ve never had a dog that could perform the roll over command, let alone play dead, give paw, jump through hoops and do various other tricks.
Camp has already accumulated quite a few nicknames, such as:
There is a slight problem though. The problem comes in the form of a five year old cat that has become accustomed to being the only pet, she is not happy about Camp joining the family, and has expressed outrage at the situation with her claws numerous times. She now spends her days plotting ways to kill us all for giving Camp a home. Clearly she forgets that she is just a cat, not a queen, and that you should never claw the hand that feeds you.
[Update]
Kitta.net 
