Hit with a literary stick

There seems to be another meme involving a stick making it’s way around the blogs and Oxton has passed it on to me, I hear this one will infect our blogs if we do not comply, so once again I’m going to do another stick meme just to be on the safe germ free side. We wouldn’t want my blog getting sick now, would we?

5 Random Tunes

Currently Reading
Atomic mag

Last Film I Saw
Garden state

Last Clean Film I Saw
Garden State was clean (although, it did have a few specks of dust I had to blow off before playing it).

The Next Victims
Who to infect next, let’s see…

Super Defaced

Finally the day has come, the day myself and thousands of Star Wars fans have been dreaming of, Super Shadow’s (aka SS, Mickey Suttle and various other fake names, but I like to call him Super Stupid) website has been defaced and for once the net if free of his mind numbing lies.

Let us rejoice!

For those of you who are lucky enough to know nothing of Super Shadow, here’s an update: Super Shadow is a low life that for years has lied to Star Wars fans and even ripped off a few unfortunate ones here and there, he also likes to steal pictures of random girls (including mine) to post on his website and claim that the girls in them are his girlfriends, and that’s not all. He constantly tells anyone who cares to believe his lies that he’s best buddies with George Lucas.

I said it before and I’ll say it again… If he knows George Lucas then I have a pet dinosaur made out of gold in my backyard that like to eats spoons.

supershadowdotcom

The people at G00ns fucking rock, hats off and applause to them for bringing the nets biggest liar down.

Emailing England

My mother isn’t very good with computers, sure she can type up letters and play solitaire, but anything to do with the internet eludes her, especially when it comes to email…

Mum: I have to send an email to someone I know in England.
Me: Do you have her email address?
Mum: Yes, but she’s in England.
Me: So…
Mum: She’s in England.
Me: Mum, you can send and check email from wherever you are in the world; it’s not like a physical street address with a mailman who sometimes gets drunk and loses the mail.
Mum: Oh. Are you sure?
Me: Yes mum, I’m sure.
Mum: But she’s in England, how will it get there?
Me, mumbling under my breath: On the back of a magical email elf that likes to eat peas dipped in cranberry sauce and listens to Enya.
Mum, who thankfully wasn’t listening closely enough to hear my smart-assed reply: What?
Me: Nothing, just send the email to her.
Mum: Ok.

A short time later she returns with an accomplished smile on her face…

Mum: You were right, I sent it, and she replied.
Me: No kidding.
Mum: Yes, it’s amazing this email thing.
Me: That it is.

Musical Baton

Sergio ‘GP’ Villarreal has passed me the musical baton and I’m going to go with the flow because I heard a rumour that if you don’t take the baton you’ll be severely beaten with said baton. I’m not in a baton beating mood, so here we go…

Total volume of music on my computer
9.62 Gb

The last CD I bought
George’s singles ‘Bastard Son’ and ‘Special Ones’ on eBay over a year ago, I’m not big on hardcopy music unless I really love the artists work.

Song playing right now
‘Every fucking city’ – Paul Kelly

Five songs I listen to a lot, or that mean a lot to me:

  1. “Throw your arms around me” by The Hunna’s
  2. “Are you gonna be my girl” by Jet
  3. “Special ones” by George
  4. “Halcyon (live)” by Orbital
  5. “Over the rainbow/wonderful world” by IZ

Five people to whom I’m passing the baton:

  1. Karen Cheng
  2. Renee
  3. Min Jung Kim
  4. Mark Christian
  5. Stacey Austin

What's that?

My brother and I are sitting down eating dinner of veggies, kababs and rice when he starts to make a mound with his rice…

Me: What are you doing?
Him: Making a castle.
Me: Ok.

I place a pea upon the top of his newly formed rice castle.

Him: What’s that?
Me: A castle warming present for your castle.

He flicks it away.

Me: You’re lucky.
Him: Why?
Me: That was a trojan pea, I was going to try and take over your castle.
Him: Ah ha!
Me: Although, I could also invade via the sea off peas which is quite close to your castles boudaries.

He grabs a carrot and places it between his peas and rice.

Me: What’s that?
Him: I just installed a firewall.

Nodey's results

Ultrasound of neck and F.N.A.

  • Clinical Details: Four months right cervical node. Some symptoms of immune disorder. Clinically reactive node.
  • Findings: The palpable nodule indicated by the patient does correspond to a reactive appearing lymph node at the cervical chain superiorly, measuring 4mm in short axis. It retains a normal echo pattern and shape. No pathologically enlarged lymph node is seen elsewhere at either anterior triangle of the neck. Both submandibular glands and the thyroid gland are normal in appearance.

Meaning it is a lymph node that is reactive and my thyroid glands are fine. Pathology reported that they didn’t get an ‘ideal sample’ of it, which is odd since the doctor passed the needle 3 bloody times, but the samples taken showed no signs of anything sinister. Unfortunately the doctor I saw today wasn’t the doctor I’ve been seeing since I got out of hospital, so he wasn’t sure where to go from here. He said to keep an eye on it and come back in a month so he can see how it’s going, if it hasn’t subsided by then and I’m still not feeling well they might do another biopsy..

I’m going to name it Nodey, because one must always name their reactive nodes. 🙂

Bandaid

Bandaid

I had a biopsy of a swollen lymph node in my neck done today; they took 3 vials for pathology, and were also looking at my tyroid glands for some reason, but that might just be routine (hopefully). My neck is still dead from the local, it feels like I am neckless, and the doctor said I might feel “a bit off”. I’m like a little rotten egg that no one wants to eat (and please, no “I’ll still eat you” comments).

Results in three days.

Singing out loud

Stock Boy

I was at the supermarket today, in the frozen food isle picking up some baby peas (my favourite of all vegetables, but shh don’t tell broccoli, I said it was the only one I truly adored), when I heard a song playing in the background. I tried to figure out what it was, the tune didn’t sound like anything I knew, it sounded like bits from various songs. I picked up my beloved peas and turned around to find the source of the unknown song was an employee of the supermarket, a stock boy, who was stacking spring rolls in the freezer and singing his stock boy heart out.

I thought it was amusing, why have a radio playing when you’ve got your own singing staff?… but the other shoppers thought differently, they soon dispersed from the frozen food isle because they seemed to be freaked out by his singing (“Runnn, for he is singing!”). One middle aged lady went to grab some vanilla ice cream, but decided not to once the singing stock boy went too close to the ice cream section for her liking.

So if you’re ever in a crowded place and want to suddenly be alone, sing various parts of songs loudly like you’re on your own, and you soon will be.

On behalf of Firefox

The phone rings and I pick it up, because that is what one does with a phone…

Telemarketer: Hi I’m calling on behalf of [Insert phone company which calls so much it could be classified as stalking], would you be interested in changing over to [Insert stalkers name again]? If you change over now we’ll pay half of your existing bill.

Bugger.

Nikita: Half you say?
Telemarketer: Yes, half.

I was reeling her in, giving her a taste of a sale and then…

Nikita: No, I wouldn’t, but let me ask you a question. What is your current web browser?
Telemarketer: Excuse me?
Nikita: Web browser, the software you use to view websites, most people use Internet Explorer.
Telemarketer: Ahh yeah, I umm, think I use that one.
Nikita: Ok, well did you know that there is an alternative?
Telemarketer: No.

That no had a strong ‘you have got to be fucking kidding me’ tone attached to it.

Nikita: Firefox is one of the alternatives. It’s safer, faster and a hell of a lot cooler.
Telemarketer: Ooookkk.

Tone now more of a sarcastic ‘you’re insane and I’m so about to hang up’.

Nikita: If you’d like more information go to Getfirefox.com.

Silence hung in the air for a few seconds, and then I could hear her rustling around, possibly looking through the manual on what to do if the person you’re calling tries to talk you into something.

Telemarketer: Um, sur-k…

I beleive that is a new word, a mixture of sure and ok, that oddly enough sounds like a great name for a breakfast cereal. “Sur-K, it’ll put the Sure in your K.” Possible explanation for the new word: She was contemplating why she was a telemarketer when a tiny section of her brain that knew it was wrong exploded and the ‘e’ never made it from her brain to her vocal cords and out of her mouth. It was then that I decided it was time for me to go.

Nikita: Thanks for your time and remember, use the fox.

I had to go, I had other telemarketers to try and covert, such as the insulation dude who was due to ring any minute to enquire if I’m hot in summer and cool in winter and offer to reverse it for me. I also had to make cookies in the shape of the Firefox logo to hand out to the Mormons when they stop by way too early next Sunday morning.

“No I don’t believe in god, but tell me this, do you believe in the great almighty Firefox?”