Monthly Archives: October 2005

We threw Luke a surprise 25th birthday party Friday night, it was a fun night full of rubber chicken loving, bad dancing, singing Noodlez, drinking, little boy jokes and people taking photos of my crotch and ass (don’t ask), below is some photographic evidence of the night…

We have an inside joke about Luke getting, ahh, intimate with chickens (only bird flu free ones of course), so someone gave him a rubber chicken as a birthday present. He was not amused, and for the rest of the night refused to be in the vicinity of Miss Rubicken, he even threw her on the roof at one point. No rubber chicken loving.

Note: No chickens were hurt during the making of this party.

Tahlia brought a very interesting looking victory stick with her to the party, Candy could not help herself and promptly licked it, she likes licking things (and she is so kicking my ass for that statement).

Dahhhlinnnggg, I am so pimpin it! I wore Noodlez pimp hat for a majority of the night.

Sparklers provided copious amounts of entertainment during the night.

Tiffy is looking a bit too seductive for her age. We teach her well.

Note to self: Never hold a cake while someone blows out the candles, wax hurts, afterwards I said to Luke “what were you doing, trying to be kinky?”

Someone handed me the pimp stick and I said “is it hard? I like my sticks hard.” I’m all class.

Highlight of the night for me has to be Noodlez singing “I wanna take my clothes off”, and me capturing the moment on video. Yes ladies, he is single! 😉

Today I graduated with a Bachelor of Crap degree in the area of Brangalifer, the degree qualifies me as an expert in the elusive Brad, Angelina and Jennifer love triangle, and it was given to me by the University of Pointless Gossip Magazines (UPGM).

You know, a offering of a mountain of gossip magazines from a friend seemed like a good idea at the time, given that I was drugged up on medication, someone please stop me next time, I do not want to know Mary’s labour timetable next week.

And now for a health update…

I had an asthma attack Thursday morning, my first ever, hopefully also my last. Infection wise, I have a nasty throat and chest infection, so far my sinuses are reluctant to join in on the infection party and I hope it stays that way, I’m despratley trying to get through this without antibiotics to avoid a C.Diff relapse. I also keep getting hives on the insides of my upper arms, antihistamines don’t seem to help and my doctor has no idea what is causing them. I have had them during flare ups and other illness this past year, might be due to immunity or possibly aliens laying eggs in my brain. I am trying not to scratch them just in case they are alien spawn related. But I do have good news monkey fans…

My voice has returned!

I am not sure if the treatment for the asthma attack helped or some lazy ass care taker in my body finally noticed the voice circuit breaker had been tripped and switched it back on, all I care about is that I can rant again. I tested my ranting abilities on my mother for breaking the phone, granted I still have to have coughing breaks between rants, but never the less, I am ranting baby!

It has been over a week and I still can’t talk, I think it’s safe to say I am with virus. My once dormant asthma is now chucking a party in my lungs where breathing is not invited, meanwhile my throat is busy being sore, and I’m having to spend large amounts of the day and night trying to cough up my lungs instead of sleeping. My plan is to cough them up and upgrade to v2.0 lungs.

So-called friends and loved ones are enjoying my inability to talk, they keep informing me “it’s so nice and quiet when you can’t talk” with a smile, I retort with a ‘don’t make me decapitate you with a bendy straw’ look and cough over them in hopes they too will know what it feels like.

The worst thing about all of this is I can not rant at people, they could do some of the stupidest most immature things ever – like strapping some roasted lamb to their leg and swimming with crocodiles – and all I can do is sit back, glare, and wish I had laser eyes of doom like Keg. Oh if only I could rant!

Now, if you’ll excuse me, it’s about that time of day when I have to hack up a lung.

Ten things I thought while having the MRI yesterday…

1. Candy is wrong, this is sooo not like a morgue, morgue’s are cold and this is deliciously warm.
2. If only they had a TV in here, I could go for watching the latest House right now.
3. Woah. Watching a character on House have an MRI while I have an MRI. Now there’s a mind fuck.
4. I am never going to get the taste of the stuff they made me drink out of my mouth, nice lemony taste my ass!
5. Ok, I can not hold my breath for more than 20 seconds, interesting, clearly I must still have Asthma.
6. 63 bottles of lemony tasting crap on the wall… 63 bottles of lemony tasting crap… if one of those bottle accidentally falls, less bottles of crap to drink!
7. I so could go to sleep right now if I didn’t have to participate in the whole holding my breath thing.
8. I’m not what sure is worse, lemony tasting crap or evil contrast taste.
9. It would so suck if the whole world went Resident Evil and you were in here when the zombies attacked. There should totally be an escape button in here in case zombies do attack.
10. I wonder who is in IRC right now?

It really, really, really, REALLY… is boring having an MRI. I seem to have lost my voice today, not sure if it is connected to the contrast or not, I might go to the doctor tomorrow if it doesn’t return after a dose of antihistamine. I logged into IRC today and told a few friends about my lack of voice…

Kitta: Anyone seen my voice? I seem to have misplaced it. 😦
Phobia: `voice kitta
Phobia: :p
-ChanOP- You were voiced on #lrmf by Phobia
* ChanOP sets mode: +v Kitta

If only life was as easy as IRC.

Commenters say the darndest things sometimes. The comments below are quite possibly some of the oddest comments posted on this site, ever…

A new comment on the post “Deli Lady” is waiting for your approval

Author: Forbembi
E-mail: akoson_2000 at yahoo.com
Comment: Hello, i have some Monkeys for sale. If anyone likes to have one please, just contact me. they are aged in between 2week to 8month. I hope to hear from anyone interested. My name is justin. Thanks

Damn, and I wanted an 11 month old monkey, I never have any luck!

A new comment on the post “Odd Spot” is waiting for your approval

Author: milly (IP: 203.220.141.26)
E-mail: kay_rose at hotmail.com
Comment: well i reacon that its cool to have it on the pad as i now get exited to change my pad

A new comment on the post “Odd Spot” is waiting for your approval

Author: haylee (IP: 203.220.141.26)
E-mail: kay_rose at hotmail.com
Comment: im withyou milly. you people are so gay talking about frikking pads i mean is aboslutly rediculas. i think that its kool any way cos its not such of a negative thing. i my self like to lern new things on the tolit.

Milly and Haylee need to get a physc evaluation to figure out which one of them is real and a rep for Libra, and then next time they are on the toilet they might want to learn to spell and type. One day me dear(s), one day you will type pretty.