Category Archives: General

My brother and I were making up fake big brother rumors today. Here’s a few of them…

• Big Brother Rumor #78 – The host will not be dressed by a blind tasteless hooker this time round.
• Big brother rumor #36 – There will be a bunch of people in a house with cameras watching their every move.
• Big brother rumor #16 – As a joint deal with Namco, machine guns will be fitted to the cameras allowing the viewers at home to use their Namco G-Con guns in conjunction with their Playstations to shoot the house mates.

I went over my friends this morning and played mind games on her kid. I can see me having to pay his therapy bill for him when he’s older. His mum and I started a ‘where’s the duck?’ game, we play the game when we want him to go do something so we can talk. We say to him “where’s the duck?” and he goes away looking for it for ten minutes. Yes, I do realize how evil this is. I can see him as a young adult having to get help for the duck search nightmares.

“The duckkkk, where is the duckkkkk” he’ll scream.

An american friend was telling me how if she ever had triplets she’d name them ‘faith’ ‘hope’ and ‘charity’. Her reason behind this was that she wanted to name them how she’d like them to grow up – Faithful, hopefull and charitable.

That’s all fine, but what if an australian guy was to name his kids that way?

His first son would be called ‘top bloke’, his second ‘footy player’ and his princess and darling daughter would be named ‘big tits’. This is the main reason why my father was not allowed to name me.

I’ve come up with a great idea to solve my lack of replying to email. I shall buy a monkey and train him up to read and reply to my emails, and then my problem will be solved! Unless the monkey finds an online girlfriend and leaves me to go answer some other skanks emails.

Grrrr, monkeys these days, can’t trust them!

From: André
Sent: Thursday, 30 January 2003 12:09 PM
To: Kitta

mty name is andre and i love u ahah ium a brsilian buy
asow im a drunk now because im love you love so much you, i put a tasto wiht your nume in me soooo i love you baby i love you so moch eh h eheeeef

A tip for all of you. Don’t email me drunk because I won’t be able to resist posting it on my blog. Now, anyone know how to translate drunkenese?

Googlism for Kitta…

kitta is an active trial attorney with 23 years of proven quality winning courtroom experience
kitta is well respected as an aggressive litigator in alameda county
kitta is a baby katta
kitta is one big throbbing heart who takes in the world
kitta is cute and huggable in all of them
kitta is a geek
kitta is such a classic beauty
kitta is fine
kitta is one of the sexiest girls i know
kitta is also from my first breeding
kitta is the portion
kitta is definately japans top womans big wave rider
kitta is a son of daniel and patsy kitta of mt
kitta is helping too
kitta is pleased with what they have achieved in four months
kitta is getting her domain soon
kitta is here in august
kitta is also very vocal as evidenced by the barking interruptions during our interview
kitta is there
kitta is the same person as anna or katherine
kitta is the same person as anna or probably your katherine
kitta is to bring together the communities of upper and lower kitta
kitta is by sj and spb
kitta is an abbreviation of kitaka which means a worm
kitta is baked on an earthenware or metal metad
kitta is owned by tiina
kitta is not yet here

“One big throbbing heart who takes in the world”… I feel bloated, I ate too much world.

Yesterday afternoon my mother rang me about something important (well she thought it was). I answered and she sais, “I have something important to ask you… Who won survivor thailand?” I said I didn’t know and then said “clearly your really working hard today, aren’t you mum?”. She laughed and told me one of the guys she works with wanted to know. For the next week whenever she says she’s working or has worked hard I’m going to come back with “did you rack your brain wondering who won the amazing race?” just to bug her hehe.

I went shopping today and brought some sparkly devils horns to wear when I gave out some candy tonight. They don’t look that evil, but as I was sitting in the car on the way home I not only scared a little kid, but also some guy next to me in his car couldn’t stop looking at them. Then when I got home the cat wouldn’t come near me and kept hissing at me when I had them on. Some of the trick or treaters loved them though. We had a few trick or treaters, some had great costumes. Mainly witches, ghosts and vampires.

What gets me is the kiddies that don’t even dress up, they just want candy for nothing. I asked what one kid what he was and he replied “I’m me… Mike” and smiled. Cute, but at least grab a sheet and put some holes in it and go “boo”. I managed to get through this Halloween without my house being egged again like last year. I remember when I was about 10 and my friends told me all the things they did if someone didn’t give them a treat. Like shoving a lemon up their cars exhaust pipe. Which is why I bought lots of candy this year and took no chances.

My brother wanted celebrate Halloween in true style, meaning sacrificing a goat. Now I know why he doesn’t have a girlfriend.

“THATS IT! After 9 years spent in the eastern most jungle of Africa while living with the natives there and trying to adapt to their culture and strange customs i finally came up with the hypothesis that makes all my years of research worth while. Not only will this revolutionize mankind as we know it today but it will explain what was thought to be unexplainable for generations. There were many strings of the virus that had been traced before our time but nobody could ever explain the most important one till now. My research shows that Kittas mind has been warped into craving G-strings every minute of every day all thanx to subliminal advertising.”

Tay is so right. I have a g-string loving virus… That explains it all.

Difficult words to say when you are drunk:

Specificity.
Indubitably.
Innovative.
Preliminary.
Proliferation.
Cinnamon.

Impossible sentances to say when you are drunk:

Thanks, but I don’t want sex.
No, I don’t want another drink.
No kebab for me thank you.
Sorry, but you’re not good looking enough for me.
Good evening officer
I’m not Interested in fighting you.
No one wants to hear me sing.