Cuswards

Asinine questions submitted via my FAQ form amuse me. Take this gem for example…

Date: Nov 22, 2006 12:35 AM
Subject: FAQ
To: Kitta

Did you know that you can go to jail for saying cuswards

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IP: 64.12.116.6
Computer Name: cache-mtc-aa02.proxy.aol.com
Browser Type: Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 7.0; AOL 9.0; Windows NT 5.1; FunWebProducts; .NET CLR 1.1.4322; IEMB3; IEMB3)

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Cuswards, what is this you speak of? Some form of a custard tart perhaps? I bet it tastes mother-fucking good.

Do you know that you can look like a complete twat for using IE and AOL and having spyware installed? Use Firefox and claim redemption from the net gods, and you might be able to save yourself from spam hell.

Arbitrary Events

Below is a series of random events which I could have made into a blog entry on their own, but I have been too busy lately to blog about them, so here they are in their raw format for your perusal…

Matt has pre-ordered a Wii and it is by far the most amusing thing to talk about in public. Said to my mother in a line at the post office, “I can’t wait to play with Matt’s Wii (pronounced ‘wee’) in December” she looked at me and said “I know, you’ve told me about Matt’s Wii before” just as everyone in line turned too look at us in disgust, thankfully, there was a young guy behind us in the line that seemed to know know what a Wii was and nodded in acknowledgement. That, or he had some golden stream fetish and was giving me the ‘how you doin’ nod.

My SD memory card for my camera has suddenly passed away. So I am stuck with the minuscule 8MB internal memory on my camera. I had a look around and the cheapest I can find is $29, I also looked on eBay, but they all seemed to be terribly executed replications.

Candy, Matt and I all went to the local Spring Festival fireworks display held on the foreshore last Saturday. The fireworks pre-show entertainment consisted solely of a guy on a boat rapping about god. Quality family entertainment there. Whoever booked him seemed to have a precognitive notion that it was a terrible idea, given that they put said rapper on a boat with water between him and the audience, to protect him from drunks throwing flaming beer bottles or angry emo teenagers from pouting and slapping him. I am fine with religion and people wanting to follow whatever they please, but having a rapper preach to a public audience about repenting from sex and drugs at a family event – and then sugar coating it as entertainment – is not cool.

Twitter is addictive, follow me online or via SMS.

Recently, I went back to my allergy/respiratory specialist and was told that I have to endure more desensitising treatment every three weeks until about March next year, the first round of treatment has helped, but my allergies are still quite bad and I have had a few major reactions to various things. My doctor thinks the treatment will help in the long term. Meanwhile I take antihistamines and steroids if needed to stop the reactions and to keep me out of hospital.

A while ago I dragged Matt to see Devil Wear’s Prada. He was one of the scarcely few men in the cinema who were also dragged by their significant other, but unlike the elderly man in-front of us, Matt didn’t fall asleep and snore loudly during the movie. Matt now owns my soul for going with me, which he’ll probably eBay to pay for Wii games.

Gatorade watermelon chill, where have you been all my life?

Camp has her first stalker. The little girl who called me old lady waits in the same place each day to pat Camp as we walk by and make idle chit-chat with me. Camp is starting to get freaked out and is paranoid that the little girl saves her fur to make a shine in her honour.

Welcome Back Mac

After two and a half weeks my MacBook, Sabastian, is finally back from the Apple service centre.

They replaced his heat-sink and installed the firmware update, and since his return he has not suffered from the dreaded random shutdown. Since both the firmware and the new heat-sink were installed at the same time I have no idea which one worked. A combined effort, Captain Planet style, seems to have fixed the problems that was causing the RSS and I am happy that I no longer have to go through the daily shutdown routine, wherein I would swear a lot and fear the successive start-up sound.

I would like to say thank you to everyone who emailed me concerned and who expressed their thoughts on the issue, and to those who commented about the firmware update, yes, I have known about the update since the day it came out, but it was impossible for me to to download and install the update as my MacBook was at the Apple service centre. I could have tried telepathy via wifi, but I doubt my brain is compatible and it’s far too expensive to upgrade my brain.

Incidentally, I am now the in the top ten search result on Google for ‘macbook RSS’, this is a first for me, as I am normally in the top search results for a swear word or a shock site that I used in retaliation. The videos I uploaded to my YouTube account have also had far too many views for what they are, and one would think they were pterodactyl porn or such (I am so going to be a top search result for pterodactyl porn now).

I was telling my mother about it recently, how I blogged about the RSS that afflicted my Macbook and how I am now in the top Google search results for ‘macbook rss’, she turned to me with a concerned looked on her face and said “you can’t get in trouble for that, can you?” I laughed, thinking she was being sarcastic and when she didn’t reciprocate I questioned her reasoning, “what are apple going to do, sue me for saying they’re products are faulty when they have acknowledged the fault?” I said, she replied with a poignant “yes.” I was amused, “where did you learn about the law? Willy Wonka’s school of Wacky Law?” I said sarcastically, “no McDonald’s” she retorted and then mumbled “big companies… big money… sue people… little people”.

Fight the man, mother. Fight the man.