Shot Down

Matt and I were talking about how we met. The true story is we met at a Christmas party, another guy was trying to pour beer down the back of my top and Matt stopped him, I spent the rest of the night safe on Matt’s lap. Alas, Matt thinks that this isn’t a good enough story…

Matt: I’m thinking we need to come up with a really cool story about how we met.
Kitta: Why?
Matt: Because I figure we will have to tell it a lot, and meeting at a christmas party isn’t really very impressive.
Kitta: We met at a Christmas party when you stopped some wanker of a guy from pouring beer down my top, that is impressive.
Matt: Instead of that… I saved you from being bashed by seven drunk guys in an alley trying to bash you.
Kitta: No.
Matt: Fine… We’ll stick with the true story.
Kitta: Dork.
Matt: Hey, it was a good idea, we would have a great story to tell at events!
Kitta: Me being bashed is a good story?
Matt: Noooo, I saved you.
Kitta: Right, from seven guys? Just think about that…
Matt: How about this then… It was at the ski slopes in Aspen, you fell and hurt your ankle and seven wolves were coming towards you, but I fought them off.
Kitta: No.
Matt: Fiiiinnneee.

A few moments later…

Matt: Can I have a pet fox?
Kitta: No sweetie.

Question Answered

On Augst 25th 2002 I posted the below photo of a girl being duct tapped to a ceiling in this blog post and asked the question, “How the hell did they get her up there?”

Duct Taped

Today, years later, I got my question answered via an email from John who organised the event, it reads…

We piled a whole bunch of mattresses under her and four or six (I can’t remember… it was back in 1992) guys held her up, while a bunch of folks taped her. After we had a bunch of tape on her, then we reduced the number of folks holding her, but didn’t pull most of the mattresses out until we were done. She was a volunteer and the whole thing was a lot of fun — she said that she’d happily do it again, though we didn’t.

John
Organizer of the duct taping in Loose Hall, Grinnell College, 1992 (Iowa, USA)

He also sent me this narrative he wrote about the events and included a few more photos…

It was one of those persistent college myths. We’d all heard it over the years: You’d wake up one morning and drag yourself down to the cafeteria for breakfast, only to find some poor sucker duct taped to the ceiling of the waiting area outside of the cafeteria. Usually it was some obnoxious guy who had been unwillingly carried down there, held to the ceiling, and taped in place… to spend the night waiting for the morning breakfast crowd to find and free him.

My friend, Steve, and I got curious about this. No one we’d ever talked to had ACTUALLY SEEN a person duct taped to a ceiling. Everyone had heard the stories, but… no proof. Was it just one of those urban myths? Or could someone actually be duct taped to a ceiling? Steve and I were trouble. Don’t get me wrong: we were both very good students, both nice guys (he much more so than I), neither of us getting into literal trouble, but… we liked to organize things. And we liked to have fun. We’d done the obligatory test of how many people you could fit into a phone booth. Twelve in this case, although we really weren’t all that crowded in there.

Duct Taped

Now we needed to find out about duct tape and ceilings… We got ourselves a volunteer. Yes, in all of the stories, the duct tapee was not a volunteer. But, like I said, Steve and I weren’t that much trouble. Little Tammy – a fairly spirited freshman who lived near us and, most importantly, a fairly SMALL woman – volunteered. Steve and I spread the word: we’re going to duct tape Tammy to the ceiling in Loose Hall. This kind of word spreads quickly! The appointed hour arrived and Steve and I found ourselves with what may have been the largest Loose Hall event for that year, completely unofficially! More than fifty people came to help us duct tape little Tammy to the ceiling. We dragged a bunch of mattresses out into the hallway to lay beneath her, and got one bunch of guys to hold her up while another bunch of guys taped her in place. Should anyone get any ideas, the very large pile of mattresses is key. Also important is that she wear long-sleeved clothing (pants and top), so the duct tape doesn’t stick directly to her.

Duct Taped
Duct Taped

We used four of the mongo duct tape rolls. I remain convinced that two large rolls, or less, would have held her. But we were being conservative. Eventually, we had to let go of her and find out if the duct tape held. It did. She didn’t move one bit. We left her up there for 10 or 15 minutes, with much joking about all of us walking away. Of course, we did not. After a bit, we took her down, expecting to remove most of the paint from the ceiling in the process. (We’d already told the RA that we would pay to repair the ceiling.) Much to our surprise, only one very small piece of paint came off with her. In case you’re wondering, Tammy had a great time. She even volunteered to do it again.

So there you have it internet, the mystery is solved, we all now know how to duct tape a girl to the ceiling.

Little Red Bunny

LRB

Some of you may have noticed that the header image has changed (Ctrl-F5 to force refresh if you can’t see it), the rolling hills where the Little Red Monkey once ranted and raved have been replaced with a rainbow, and coloured Easter eggs can be found scattered among the foliage. The Little Red Monkey was tired of ranting day in day out at Kitta.net, so he has taken a holiday down south over the Easter break and has asked the Little Red Bunny to take over while he’s gone.
Same rules apply; no feeding or spanking.

I hope you all have a safe and happy Easter. 😉

Nokia 7370

Nokia 7370

I purchased a new phone, a sexy Nokia 7370, a bit of an expensive phone outright, but I have been saving up for a while and I haven’t had any cool gadgets to play with in quite some time. I have to say, it has surpassed my expectations. I thought the swivel design might be a bit dodgy, it’s not, and it is quite visually stunning with its leather-inspired backing and metal surfaces. The navigation is simple (unlike my old LG phone that had so many categories that I could never find the sections I wanted) and the video ring tones are quite cool. I less than three this phone.

Kitta: My old phone looks so crappy next to my new one, my new one is all “you suck LG”, my old phone retorts with a plea of “but, but, I have infrared!” and my new phone replies “hah, I have bluetooth bitch!”
Matt: I can just imagine you, like, playing with them on the desk and putting on little voices for each one.

Ho Sale

Ho Sale

Kitta: Ooo Escada Rockin’ Rio is out cheap at Perfume Empire!
Matt: *Nods and smiles*
Kitta: It’s $100 is department stores!
Matt: *Nods and smiles some more*
Kitta: Bah… I so need, like, a female friend that knows what I’m crapping on about, even Candy doesn’t know Sass and Bide from Lisa Ho.
Matt: Well… I’m sorry, but I can’t be your female friend sweetie.
Kitta: Yes I know.
Kitta: *Sighs*
Matt: Wouldn’t you think it was a bit odd if I was?
Kitta: Yes.
Matt: I would be like “OH MY GOD! Did you see the sale Lisa Ho is having! I mean, I’m going to get myself so many Ho’s its not funny!”
Kitta: You know, even though I know you were joking, when you said Lisa Ho and sale in the same sentance I got kind of excited.
Matt: I am never letting you have my credit card.
Kitta: Oh come on!