I’m a few weeks into my onslaught of needles and I have only experienced minor reactions so far consisting of itchy skin and hives. Alas, my doctor isn’t satisfied with just sticking me with needles, oh no, this past week he has attached a multi-day holter monitor to me day and night.
Is it just me, or does ‘holter monitor’ sound semi kinky?
I have been experiencing palpitations for over a year now, they happen a few times a month and last about 8 to 15 hours, and I also experience dizziness, shortness of breath and slight chest discomfort. At first I put it down to a virus, anaemia or just stress from illness, but my doctor wants to investigate to make sure there are no arrhythmias; he thinks there’s nothing to worry about.
Last Friday I had the monitor ‘installed’ by a technician who must have done a thousand of them by the way he rushed through it all, “it’s not rocket science” he joked as he placed the right leg electrode on my lower abdomen. Indeed it isn’t. It is quite annoying to sleep with it though – I get about 20 to 30 minutes sleep before I wake up twisted in wires and with one of the electrodes pulled out – and I’ve felt very sleep deprived all week. I’ve had a lot of questions about it over the past week, such as…
Q. Does the monitor make beeping sounds or show you what your heart is doing?
A. Nope, neither sound nor recordings are visible or audible via the unit, it is all recorded to a memory card in the unit.
Q. Does it play Tetris?
A. Sadly, no.
Q. Will it interfere with your phone?
A. No, it’s not a pacemaker or an aeroplane.
Q. Is it WIFI compatible?
A. Again, no.
Q. Can you shower or bathe?
A. Yes, the technician gave me enough replacement ECG electrodes to have three showers this past week, I simply un-hook the monitor, take off the electrodes, shower, replace the electrodes with new ones and re-attach the monitor.
Q. When you shower won’t it show up that you’re dead?
A. No, they know I’m not dead when I re-attached it.
Q. Have you thought about hooking it up to a chipmunk to freak out your doctor?
A. No, due to the fact that we don’t have chipmunks in Australia and that if we did Matt would want one as a pet.
Thankfully, tomorrow afternoon I return the less than three monitor and return to normal, I shall celebrate with a long hot bath and sleeping uninterrupted on my stomach. 🙂