The lady at my local deli doesn’t seem to like me.
Now I know that this shouldn’t bother me, but damnit, I want to have a friendly relationship with my deli lady. I wish for it to mimic the relationship I had with my previous deli lady – she was epitome of all deli ladies worldwide – ex-deli lady would make jokes about how anybody could beat her prices, but since everywhere else was closed I was screwed, so I better bloody enjoy the insanely over priced can of tuna.
The new owner is not the same, not at all, she always has this look about her, a look that says at any moment she could to pull out a rifle and yell “you steal gum you die motherfucker” and I don’t even like gum.
I’ve tried to get her to warm to me, by keeping my hands in clear view so she could see no gum stealing was in progress or by presenting the exact change for my purchases, but she still gives me a “die motherfucker” look.
Maybe she does this to scare off potential gum thieves (gum can be hard to obtain) or maybe she had some sort of plastic surgery disaster that makes her that way. What ever it is, I’m going to keep trying to crack her, get her to at least smile and release the grip on her gum bandit killing rifle, if only for a second…
But if she doesn’t warm up to me soon, I’m going to steal some gum just to fuck with her.