The F Word
I was hunting through Valleygirl recently looking for a bargain. I found a few dresses that I liked and headed towards the change room. I waited in line and tapped away at Zombie Farm on my iPhone. Grow, invade, grow, invade. In front of me was a young couple, the man waited patiently and tried to say the right things at the right moments.
“Is this cute?”
“Depends what you mean by cute,” he replied while rubbing the sheer material together to see if it was durable.
“Cute, like, good cute, not bad cute,” she said while trying to explain the definition of girl world cute.
“I guess it’s good cute, this part here, what do you call it?”
“Yeah, they’re a bit, strappy,” he said with a serious stap talking look on his face.
“Umm, bad starappy?” he guessed.
“You’re right, it is bad strappy, but still cute.”
The man was confident with his girl translation achievement, he decided to wet his fashion palette more.
“This one is a bit small, you should get it in a bigger size for when you get fat.”
The entire store stopped and stared; jaws dropped, hangers crashed to the ground, a lady opened the change room door to visualise the guy who called his beloved fat…
Did he just say the F word?
“Pregnant fat! She’s pregnant! I’m buying her pregnant clothes, she’s not fat, she’s pretty and pregnant, good fat not bad fat!” he quickly explained to the entire store full of females hungrily waiting to defend their fellow vagina-card carrying sister.
Everyone laughed and put down pointed objects once the F word was explained in detail and awkwardness was averted. The sales girl wished them good luck as he proceeded to purchase a five bags of good cute clothing for his soon-to-be good fat beloved pregnant partner. It takes a brave man to patiently wait by while their significant other try on varies sizes, colours and types of the same dress to decide which is good cute and bad cute.