I'm Not Dead

According to the internet, I died.

Screenshot

Which really sucks. I finally found a boyfriend called Wanky who loves me, even though I’m a dude, and then I suddenly died according to Maxpower.

I have so many questions… How did I die? Was it a terrible high-heel related accident? Why did my beloved Wanky find out about my death at a variety of ass forum? Was there delicious cake at my funeral? Why was Fiona the only person to send @reply condolences? And why can I still post to my blog even though I’m dead?

The internet life is so confusing. πŸ˜•

34 Comments on “I'm Not Dead”

  1. Werd! Kitta, I find your ability to pick the interesting aspects out of a web-page and choose above average descriptors very attractive (:mrgreen:). You really make an awesome buzz-worthy information burrito! If I die anytime soon maybe we could… like hook up and stuff…

    Like

  2. Tragedies like this always seem to fall on the holidays.
    Is there a memorial fund where we may send contributions in lieu of flowers?

    Like

  3. “Why was Fiona the only person to send @reply condolences?”

    Guess we aren’t keeping up with you on those lesbionic websites… Also I haven’t tried twittering the deceased before…

    Like

  4. Pingback: I'm in love ...Nikita Kashner - Bandit's Forum...

  5. I’d be honored if you would come post on my little forum πŸ˜‰ You have to join us to appreciate Max’s sense of humor! And Wanky would be speechless! Don’t be shy!

    ❀ Meredith, aka Bandit Babe

    Like

  6. You’re dead, huh?

    Wow… There’s so many questions that I want to ask about the afterlife, if there is such a thing.

    You know, the deep and philosophical sorts of questions.

    Like, ‘are there tacos?’

    And. ‘how do remove a pea that’s firmly lodged up your nose?’

    Good to see you posting, oh dead one.

    Like

  7. Hi.

    I hope you weren’t startled by the news of your death; the first few times are always the hardest.

    To clarify my original statement, in the time you got your blog (not that I did an in depth investigation), you “fucked up” your shoulder, had heart palpitations, and got new glasses……statistically speaking,you should have been dead by the time I made that post.

    I truly hope you don’t die soon, wanky has a crush on you…he and/or me want to make sweet sweet love to you…or have sex with you…your choice.

    Sorry wanky, she’s IS hot, for a dude.

    Like

  8. Happy Belated Birthday Kitta

    From one of the original people who found your site a long time ago, and still checks back every blue moon or so.

    You’re all grown up now and it looks like you turned out ok. Cheers!

    Like

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