I'm Not Dead
According to the internet, I died.
Which really sucks. I finally found a boyfriend called Wanky who loves me, even though I’m a dude, and then I suddenly died according to Maxpower.
I have so many questions… How did I die? Was it a terrible high-heel related accident? Why did my beloved Wanky find out about my death at a variety of ass forum? Was there delicious cake at my funeral? Why was Fiona the only person to send @reply condolences? And why can I still post to my blog even though I’m dead?
The internet life is so confusing. π
“why can I still post to my blog even though Iβm dead?”
You’re a zombie, obviously. Duh.
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@Olly: That would explain my craving for some brainnnnssss.
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Werd! Kitta, I find your ability to pick the interesting aspects out of a web-page and choose above average descriptors very attractive (:mrgreen:). You really make an awesome buzz-worthy information burrito! If I die anytime soon maybe we could… like hook up and stuff…
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If you’re dead can I edit your wikipedia page?
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is it cold there?
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Don’t believe the internet.
It tells lies!
According to the internet, I’m banging everyone on Perth.
Ok.. now I tell lies.
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@grum: you’re only banging the hot ones is the truth, right grum?
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@grum: on? fuck grum, learn to be spellings good.
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Oh noes! Not dead!
and yes Grum, you do tell lies!
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@SomeGen: I COULD be banging everyone on Perth… as long as everyone but me leaves the city of Perth…
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Tragedies like this always seem to fall on the holidays.
Is there a memorial fund where we may send contributions in lieu of flowers?
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“Why was Fiona the only person to send @reply condolences?”
Guess we aren’t keeping up with you on those lesbionic websites… Also I haven’t tried twittering the deceased before…
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Dibs on your iPod and MacBook.
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Pingback: I'm in love ...Nikita Kashner - Bandit's Forum...
@Kevbo: Srsly you don’t want her macbook, its nearly dead itself. I think an old Apple II would run faster :p
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π that was just weird! i wonder how it started & how did you come across that?
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I’d be honored if you would come post on my little forum π You have to join us to appreciate Max’s sense of humor! And Wanky would be speechless! Don’t be shy!
β€ Meredith, aka Bandit Babe
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@A: I must be srsly kinky then π I like hot chicks, but you know, if they’re DEAD that adds a little extra excitement?
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That explains this resurrection I’ve gotten. π
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Obviously, by process of elimination: the monkey did it, in the Library…with a candlestick.
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You’re dead, huh?
Wow… There’s so many questions that I want to ask about the afterlife, if there is such a thing.
You know, the deep and philosophical sorts of questions.
Like, ‘are there tacos?’
And. ‘how do remove a pea that’s firmly lodged up your nose?’
Good to see you posting, oh dead one.
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That Wanky guy sounds cute π
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Hi.
I hope you weren’t startled by the news of your death; the first few times are always the hardest.
To clarify my original statement, in the time you got your blog (not that I did an in depth investigation), you “fucked up” your shoulder, had heart palpitations, and got new glasses……statistically speaking,you should have been dead by the time I made that post.
I truly hope you don’t die soon, wanky has a crush on you…he and/or me want to make sweet sweet love to you…or have sex with you…your choice.
Sorry wanky, she’s IS hot, for a dude.
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I hate not being able to fix my grammtical errors.
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Oh man, when I die I hope the internet will let me know.
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what i find most shocking about all this is, wanky has a gf? π―
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may I suggest an e-restraining roder? π
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order even π
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I still love you by the way, and you just ignore me π¦
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Nothing like waking up and finding out you’ve died! lmao.
You’re popularrr π
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I suspect a horrible noodle accident.
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Happy Belated Birthday Kitta
From one of the original people who found your site a long time ago, and still checks back every blue moon or so.
You’re all grown up now and it looks like you turned out ok. Cheers!
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Merry Christmas … π
(i still love you)
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Kitta on Attack of the Show’s Women of the Web
2nd!
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