Zombie Stylist

This weekend the boyfriend and I went to see Resident Evil: Extinction at the movies. It was an enjoyable zombiefest full of blood, sharp knives, zombies and viruses. A few of my favourite things. I specifically enjoyed the part when they handed a zombie a phone to test how ‘domesticated’ it was…


It would have been increasingly funny if they handed over an iPhone and said zombie was a Apple fanboy that tried to make a booty call to zombie Steve Jobs, but hey, that’s just my thoughts on how the plot could have incorporated another item I love.

The plot wasn’t without flaws – as with most zombie movies, flaws are more rampant than the zombies themselves – at one point the boyfriend leaned over and pointed out a major flaw during the movie…

“Who do you think has the job of dressing the zombies in little uniforms and putting on their gloves?”

Good question.


I have been contemplating this. I do believe that if zombies were to walk the earth and infect the population, thus turning the living into a walking army of moaning cannibals, should the small amount of humans that do survive require a zombie stylist, the job of dressing captured zombies should totally go to the guy who lives nearby and does burnouts at 4am in his car. He so deserves the distinguished job title.

Alas, others will also have to be nominated for the job. Due to accidental zombification, the turnover in the position will be swift. If you would like to nominate someone that you believe deserves to be in charge of dressing rotting naked zombies in uniforms, please do so in the comments so we can generate a rough list. And then, if we all get attacked by zombies, the plans will already have been laid out, and we can spend more time finding unmarked cans of peas and making cool looking belted costumes to hold our weapons.

5 Comments on “Zombie Stylist”

  1. Michael Jackson, definitely. He deserves it. And while we’re at it, he should share some make-up tips as well. How to hide those age spots and flesh wounds so typical of zombies.


  2. I really need to see the new RE movie… considering how much I adored the past two. As weird as it sounds, you should watch the first one’s commentary… Milla is absolutely hilarious.


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