Army Of The Expectant
I was reading an article in a newspaper today about the increase of births taking place in hospitals instead of home, it quoted an associate professor on the subject, who said, “Women are using things they don’t need, things like epidurals.”
Did I ever share with you, dear Internet, that I am blessed with psychic abilities? No?
Well, I totally am… No, I can’t read your future or your mind, but I do predict that the person who was quoted in the article will meet a mob of crazy-ass pregnant chicks (two of whom are pregnant friends of mine, that pray to the anaesthesia god daily) late one night in an alley way, they will be armed with breast pumps and wearing nappies as ninja face masks to hide their identity. The mob will proceed to break the professors legs and then ask if they would like to kindly retract that statement.
I also predict rain on Wednesday.