Cheatr

MySpace, for years it has been a platform for angry depressed emo children to express how much life totally sucks and for old men to play girl pokemon by collecting as many female profiles as humanly possible. Apparently, it’s now also a platform for students to cheat with. I received this plea for help via MySpace recently…

From: C.A.R.M.I.N.E.
Date: 16 Feb 2007, 07:26 AM
Subject: hey hows it goin

Im a student at CCM in NJ– i work 80 hrs a week and i have NO time to finish my critical assignment . Im lookin for someone to make a simple XHTML website for my class by this monday 2/19— Easy 5 page website- and one element of javascript— i have all of the pictures, it can look like crap— i just need the code- Quick, Easy money.

Im offering around $100- $150

lemme know!

thanks, Carmine

I know some people might jump at the chance to throw up some code and rearrange it’s regurgitated bits into something that resembles five crappy pages for a quick $100, but I don’t condone plagiarism as mush as I don’t trust a random person on MySpace to pay me. I pondered the the above correspondence for a few days, and then replied with a helpful message comprised of years of experience…

From: Kitta
Date: 27 Feb 2007, 07:56 PM
Subject: Re: hey hows it goin

Dearest Carmine,

Maybe you should drop some ecstasy, I hear that Zeldman does it when he’s between a rock and a hard place, and an ecstasy trip was how the horrendous MySpace design came about, it’s pretty crap, which is the exact look you said you were going for. Just don’t freak out if your Div’s eat your tables, they’re totally meant to do that.

Good luck,
Kitta

12 Comments on “Cheatr

  1. Gosh, when I was in college(in the mid-90s), we just paid people to type & print our papers for us. Not to actually do the assignment itself. And we actually had to find someone on campus in person. It’s like when I tell my younger brothers that I had to go to the library and use encyclopedias in high school to research assignments.
    I feel old.

  2. Laffin @ Susannah
    Heh, I know how you feel. I didnt know the internet existed until 1996, first year uni. Oh how my world as I knew it ceased to exist after that! So, so much porn!….

  3. Kitta, I think you are being unneccessarily hard on this Carmine person.

    We have all been in that situation before, where due to poor time management we end up in a situation where our back’s against the wall.

    I guess my point is that everybody’s cheated at something at some point in our lives, and like the good book says, “Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.”

    Is it really that big of a deal to cheat on an assignment? I don’t think so.

  4. You are amazing. That was a great response.

    And I don’t know about you, but as a college student, I don’t really have $100 to drop on an assignment that I could probably get an extension for by asking the professor.

  5. lmao, you’re so mean. There was a time back in college where I need help with a Flash final but I had someone come to my house and help me by SHOWING me how I can complete it. That way, while my assignment was taking care of in a prompt manner, I was learning along the way.

  6. Emmo = Erotic manic depressive moron obsessive kids

    I would say 25 strokes of the cane will straighten there little ass out quick!!! that what those kids need. only if they can see how dumb they look and act like

  7. My inclination would have been to look up the email for the Dean or Dept Chair and mail them asking that they send you a copy of their policy of plagiarism with a copy to the student. You could also point out that, if the student claims to have been doing a study on how honest internet users are, then you want a copy of the written permission from the university office of research allowing the human research experiment and asking how they were planning on making sure you were properly informed.

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