Kim Beazley


We recently received a mass produced Christmas card from Kim Beazley. When I opened it all I could think about is the time he attended our school assembly.

It was your typical kissing-the-ass-of-a-politician event; mothers who work in the canteen dressed up like hookers in case they happen to be in the background of a photo, photographers bored out of their minds and wishing they were photographing bikini clad models in Hawaii, and kids fidgeting while being whisper yelled at by their over caffeinated teachers. After the principal had made introductions, fluffed his egocentric embossed feathers and managed to make half of the student population fall asleep, the Australian national anthem started playing over the speakers and none of us, not even the choir, knew the bloody words. Blushed and bemused the principal apologized to Mr Beazley.

To this day I am not sure what pissed off the principal more; that we didn’t know the lyrics to the Australian national anthem or that some of the older kids started singing the Burke’s Backyard theme song with some added pot related lyrics.

The latter would explain their inability to remember the national anthem.

4 Comments on “Kim Beazley”

  1. Kevin Rudd came to my high school a number of times, but he’s never sent me a Christmas card.

    Singing the Burke’s Backyard theme is GOLD! That should be our anthem, more people know the words…


  2. Like most national anthems its rather boring. I gave it a listen an although it had a rather Star-wars build up I felt more like I was in a church service to something listening to all the chorus.

    The “Southern Cross” however was iinteresting and I soon discovered it was of your flag, and of a constellation. It’s a constellation that I can’t see from were I am, nor ever have. I was reminded that it is good to adjust our perspective from time to time so I turned my mind’s universe around and saw Australia near the top of the world.

    Enough of that perspective. Time to google some bikini clad models in Hawaii.


  3. That’s sort of a ‘hey, I’m still alive gesture, isn’t it?’ Sad. But satisfying.

    On another note, I never thought of Australia as being ‘near the top of the world’. More like it was clinging desperately to the lower left-hand side somehow. This feels like a very unpatriotic world view now that I think about it…


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