Things Matt Can't Have

Matt and I have been together for six months today – I will now pause for you all to let out a “dawwww” – and since I have known him not a week has pasted without him asking if he can have random silly things, as most are animal based I always reply with a stern “no”. It’s not that I’m being mean, sure, if he had a farm with a salt lake he could have a Dolphin and a Zebra, but since he rents a townhouse I doubt his landlord or his housemates would be very happy about a Dolphin being in the bath or a Zebra in the kitchen. I now present you with a list I have kept of things he can’t have…

Things Matt can’t have

  • Helper monkey
  • Baby panda
  • Pod racer
  • Pet Jar Jar Binks
  • Penguin
  • Beaver
  • Baby polar bear
  • Baby lion
  • Lion
  • Dolphin
  • Baby seal
  • Cheetah
  • Zebra
  • Eagle
  • Hawk
  • Raven
  • Pet midget
  • Squirrel
  • Chipmunk
  • Turtle
  • Fox
  • Lemur
  • Mongoose
  • Tortoise
  • Quokka
  • Giraffe
  • Musk ox
  • A flux capacitor
  • $3000 LCD TV (apparently one needs a $3000 TV for an Xbox 360’s graphics to look any good)
  • Matching scooters and scooter jackets
  • A robot ATM (like the one on the ANZ bank TVC)

“Why don’t you ever want something normal, like a puppy or a hooker” I asked him one day, to which he replied “would you let me have a puppy or a hooker?”

Note to self: Never take Matt to the zoo.

Category: General    

18 Comments on “Things Matt Can't Have”

  1. I’ll be really worried about him!! He a little to much into animals!!! You better not take him to the zoo, he might get to excited lol lol he be humping the animals lol lol

    that great 6 months a a great start. I am sure the two of you are happy .

    Dan
    Maine, USA

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  6. I was just joking about that kitta and matt. Hay matt, how about some bigger things like a 64 foot boat 🙂 hmmmm yess!

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  11. Matteh: wow she let you have that thats good. she look good up ther on the bow with her bikini lol lol.

    Dan
    Maine USA

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  12. Dan, not only do you type like an 8 year old from a foriegn country, but you’re also trying way too hard to impress Kitta/Matt. In hopes of becomming an “inner-circle” friend?

    Keep it real. You apologised for seemingly no reason, simply because neither Kitta nor Matt replied to your first comment and you, being paranoid, insecure and self-concious, made yourself believe that you’d upset them somehow.

    Good Day~

    – Your Resident Psychologist

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  13. Heehee, you so have to let him get a helper monkey. *pictures Matt playing his XBox360 on his $3000 T.V while a monkey picks at his hair and combs crumbs out of his four-day-old beard*.

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  16. The $3000 TV will not just make the 360 graphics look any good, but SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO good, you will think you are there….so really, you’d be paying $3000 for a lifetime of awesome expiriences. Sounds like a deal to me.

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About the Author

Nikita is a 30-something year old geeky girl that resides in Perth, Western Australia studies event management, works at events and runs EnjoyPerth. She is a self confessed high heel worshipper that suffers from multipletabitis. Kitta spends her spare time blogging sporadically, volunteering, gaming and likes taking photos of the contents of the universe.

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