21

The rumours are all true, I turned 21 years old today. Happy Birthday to me.

babykitta

Even as a baby I was plotting things. If I could have blogged straight after birth, I’m sure it would have sounded like this…

“Yes, first I will get out of these diapers, a good world dominator can not wear diapers, they must poop unassisted! Then I must do something about this lack of walking. Hmm. Then a secret lair must be obtained. So much to do, I’m sort of sleepy now. Baby yawn. Will plot more tomorrow.”

Today wasn’t what I had expected my 21st birthday would be like. There was no celebration, joy, jubilation, nor any birthday fun. The reason why all those wonderful birthday feeling were absent is because my grandfather passed away on Monday and I spent today – my 21st birthday – making funeral arrangements with my family. People keep asking me “how does it feel to be 21?” and all I can say is “shitty”. I have such a mix of emotions going on right now, I don’t know what to think; am I meant to be sad about my grandfather passing away or happy about my birthday? I’ve been in shock and it didn’t really hit me that he was gone until I opened my birthday card – which my grandmother wrote weeks ago – and read the last line…

card

I think even if she had of wrote it later and left him off the card it would have still hurt the same, if not more.

43 Comments

  1. nafcom says:

    Happy Birthday 🙂 And best wishes to you! 🙂

    Like

  2. Nick B says:

    Happy Birthday Kitz,

    So sorry about your grandfather. It’s always hard when people die. A friend of mine died on the weekend. Went to his funeral today.

    My best wishes to you and your family at this time.

    Nick

    Like

  3. Kausty says:

    Happy 21st Kitta 🙂 all the best

    Like

  4. Jen says:

    Happy Birthday! I’m sorry to hear about your Grandad, my Grandfather died in the wee hours right after my 21st so I can kind of understand how you feel.

    Hope it all goes ok.

    Like

  5. Luna says:

    Happy birthday Kitta, wish you the best…and sorry about your grandfher…

    Like

  6. Phobia says:

    Happy Birthday Kitta.

    So sorry about your Grandfather. 😦

    Like

  7. axel says:

    Happy Birthday Kitta, I’m so sorry to hear of the death of your grandfather.

    Like

  8. Nicole says:

    Happy 21st Birthday babe, I know right now it will probably be hard to celebrate due to the circumstances. But i am certain your grandfather would want you to be happy on such a special occasion. One thing i have always believed in is people never truly “leave” us. I think your brithday card from your grandmother is a beautiful example of that. Just those little things and many more make it an easier thing to deal with. When you’re ready i hope you celebrate your birthday just a little. Take care.

    Like

  9. fr0g says:

    Thats a touching blog entry. My 21st was all about drinking and partying, whereas you’re dealing with seriously heavy emotions. Kind of puts things in perspective. Good luck with things.

    Like

  10. metao says:

    How very Stewie of you.

    Sorry about your grandfather. Im sure the card is no less accurate for its ill-timing.

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  11. Ricky says:

    may you have lots of yummy things and your day filled with much yumminess.
    yummy yummy yummy 😀

    Like

  12. Sally-Anne says:

    Happy birthday Kitta.

    I don’t know if saying sorry is appropiate :-/. My thoughts are with you. I know what it feels like.

    Like

  13. Pinky says:

    Sorry to hear about your grandfather, but I bet he still wishes you a great birthday. 🙂
    As do I, have a great birthday, and try to enjoy yourself so that you don’t remember today negatively 🙂

    Like

  14. Youkie says:

    I don’t think your grandfather would like you to be sad on such a happy time… I think all he would want for you is your happyness. The only thing I can say Is happy birthday and I hope that you find happyness in the years to come.

    It’s always hard when a family member dies, especially a grandparent because when we are young we see them a immortal in a sense…

    all the best, Youkie

    Like

  15. Tom says:

    I am so sorry to hear of the lose of your grandfather. I can not pretend to know how you are feeling right now, no one can, but I wish you the best and hope that you know that there are others out here that feel your sorrow and would like nothing more then to share your joy of turning 21, if not now then perhaps some other day. Take care, my thoughts are with you, Happy Birthday.

    Like

  16. Happy birthday Kitta. So sorry to hear about your grandfather. But don’t forget to change your stats (on the upper right) when you’re not busy.

    Like

  17. Tim says:

    I’d like to know what to say, but I have never experienced this unique dichotomy you find yourself in. But we’re all thinking of you, as we don’t doubt your grandfather is. Take care.

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  18. John says:

    The best possible of all birthdays, lovely Kitta. I am so sorry to hear about your grandfather. Sometimes the way the events of life line up seem so blasted unfair! When the shock fades from your loss, I hope you have a bushel full of great memories to cherish. AND… (Kitta family and friends take notice!)… No one’s 21st birthday should be ignored, even in the worst of circumstance… perhaps in time, when it feels right, a fantastic 21st celebration can still take place… it should! Be well

    Like

  19. stu says:

    happy birthday kitta darlin,,, hope you have a fun time x stu

    Like

  20. lee says:

    Happy birthday kitta

    All doanhill from now on hahahah , just joking

    Have a wonderfull bday

    Lee uk

    Like

  21. Gordon says:

    Hope you had a good a day as possible. Look at it this way, in years to come you’ll remember this day, and be able to think back fondly to your memories of your grandfather.

    Happy Birthday.

    Like

  22. Chris says:

    Happy Birthday, Kitta! I hope you have a great one – and oh, I wanted to mention that your idea of what you would’ve blogged about as a newborn, sounded very reminiscent of the baby Stewie on Family Guy. Have you seen this?

    Like

  23. Dan M USA says:

    You have a evil look in the baby!!! maybe Plotting a real bad #2 in your dipper lol. Happy Th and I hope you have and had a great day. Now you can get 22 smacks( one for each year and one for good luck) HAPPY BIRTH DAY!!!

    Dan M
    MA USA

    Like

  24. Sunny says:

    Happy birthday! May all your wishes come true!

    Like

  25. Pritam Pal says:

    Happy Birthday.

    Like

  26. KEddy says:

    Well I do want to wish you a happy 21st bday and I also want to wish you my condoleances on the loss of you grandfather. I have lost all my grand parents and I know what its like to lose a family member.

    Like

  27. AJ says:

    Mour for your grandfather, u’ll compansate for ur 21 birthday later. Just remeber; u loved him and he loved u.
    Best wishes.

    Like

  28. hanzi says:

    All the best wishes for turning 21 even though you understandably would have found it difficult to have a happy birthday. My friend’s grandad died suddenly last week and her 18th is tomorrow, so I cant imagine she will be having a particularly happy birthday either, but the main thing is to know that everyone wishes you well – and youve got a whole year to celebrate being 21, it doesnt matter if the individual day is spent on other more important things.

    Like

  29. Kayhadrin says:

    I think that your grandfather will be looking at you wherever he is now, wishing you the very best.
    May you have a happy birthday.

    Like

  30. Michelle says:

    Hey, happy birthday. It’s hard losing a grand. Feel better!

    Like

  31. Dan M USA says:

    This is a P/S I for got to say sorry to hear about your grand father. Sorry to hear that I hope your grand mother and the rest of your family are fine.

    Dan M
    Ma USA

    Like

  32. Andy says:

    happy birthday kitta!

    Like

  33. Jeff says:

    Hey! Congrats! And Happy Birthday! um……even if it is two days late. 😐

    Like

  34. kris says:

    Its never easy loosing a loved one you’ve known your entire life. But you can take comfort in knowing your grandfather has lived a very long life, and has made enough acquantences that he will never be forgotten. He’s in a better place now, and if you’re religious, you can take comfort in also knowing you’ll see him when its your turn to leave this earth.

    On another note, congratulations on a successful year as a 20 year old. I’m sure life as a 21 year old will prove even more rewarding!

    Like

  35. AJ says:

    PS. Laugh histerically at the plotting baby.
    (‘Plotting’ as in plotting for world domination, and not any other ‘plotting you know of…)

    Like

  36. mintox says:

    What is it with July and August and everyone having birthdays… *counts back 9 months* Hmmmm end of year holidays???

    It seems that since my Birthday signalled in the mid year party festivities, its been a nonstop rollercoaster ride of friends celebrating their birthdays (often at the same time).

    I think their should be a birthday register, so you know if youre holding your party on the same day as someone else.

    Nonetheless, Happy Birthday dude (and despite what they all say, its all uphill from here)!!

    Like

  37. Rowan Lewis says:

    Happy Birthday Kitta! Three days late I know.

    I’m turning 19 in a few days 🙂

    Like

  38. Baron says:

    Oh Kitta 😦

    I’m sorry for you. Losing family members, especially close ones sucks. Especially when it happens around a period in which there should be joy. Some close friends of ours lost their father on his son’s birthday. The ‘son’ is 40 or so, and the father was an old man, but you know, it doesn’t make it any easier.

    Like

  39. Kitta says:

    Thank you all for the birthday well wishes and condolences.

    Like

  40. Mostly Lisa says:

    hizzah! eat heaps of cake and watch out for drop bears 😮

    Like

  41. Zenys says:

    Awesome and happy birthday. 21 is a great year and you should have many great years ahead of you.

    Like

  42. Kitta says:

    @Zenys and @Mostly Lisa: Sorry guys, false Birthday alarm. A WordPress plugin accidentally triggered and sent this old post link to Twitter while I slept. I only noticed when I saw a slew of messages and emails when I got up to get a drink. But thanks for the extremely belated birthday wishes. 😀

    I wish I was 21 again. 😉

    Like

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