The rumours are all true, I turned 21 years old today. Happy Birthday to me.


Even as a baby I was plotting things. If I could have blogged straight after birth, I’m sure it would have sounded like this…

“Yes, first I will get out of these diapers, a good world dominator can not wear diapers, they must poop unassisted! Then I must do something about this lack of walking. Hmm. Then a secret lair must be obtained. So much to do, I’m sort of sleepy now. Baby yawn. Will plot more tomorrow.”

Today wasn’t what I had expected my 21st birthday would be like. There was no celebration, joy, jubilation, nor any birthday fun. The reason why all those wonderful birthday feeling were absent is because my grandfather passed away on Monday and I spent today – my 21st birthday – making funeral arrangements with my family. People keep asking me “how does it feel to be 21?” and all I can say is “shitty”. I have such a mix of emotions going on right now, I don’t know what to think; am I meant to be sad about my grandfather passing away or happy about my birthday? I’ve been in shock and it didn’t really hit me that he was gone until I opened my birthday card – which my grandmother wrote weeks ago – and read the last line…


I think even if she had of wrote it later and left him off the card it would have still hurt the same, if not more.

43 Comments on “21”

  1. Happy Birthday Kitz,

    So sorry about your grandfather. It’s always hard when people die. A friend of mine died on the weekend. Went to his funeral today.

    My best wishes to you and your family at this time.



  2. Happy Birthday! I’m sorry to hear about your Grandad, my Grandfather died in the wee hours right after my 21st so I can kind of understand how you feel.

    Hope it all goes ok.


  3. Happy 21st Birthday babe, I know right now it will probably be hard to celebrate due to the circumstances. But i am certain your grandfather would want you to be happy on such a special occasion. One thing i have always believed in is people never truly “leave” us. I think your brithday card from your grandmother is a beautiful example of that. Just those little things and many more make it an easier thing to deal with. When you’re ready i hope you celebrate your birthday just a little. Take care.


  4. Thats a touching blog entry. My 21st was all about drinking and partying, whereas you’re dealing with seriously heavy emotions. Kind of puts things in perspective. Good luck with things.


  5. Happy birthday Kitta.

    I don’t know if saying sorry is appropiate :-/. My thoughts are with you. I know what it feels like.


  6. Sorry to hear about your grandfather, but I bet he still wishes you a great birthday. ๐Ÿ™‚
    As do I, have a great birthday, and try to enjoy yourself so that you don’t remember today negatively ๐Ÿ™‚


  7. I don’t think your grandfather would like you to be sad on such a happy time… I think all he would want for you is your happyness. The only thing I can say Is happy birthday and I hope that you find happyness in the years to come.

    It’s always hard when a family member dies, especially a grandparent because when we are young we see them a immortal in a sense…

    all the best, Youkie


  8. I am so sorry to hear of the lose of your grandfather. I can not pretend to know how you are feeling right now, no one can, but I wish you the best and hope that you know that there are others out here that feel your sorrow and would like nothing more then to share your joy of turning 21, if not now then perhaps some other day. Take care, my thoughts are with you, Happy Birthday.


  9. I’d like to know what to say, but I have never experienced this unique dichotomy you find yourself in. But we’re all thinking of you, as we don’t doubt your grandfather is. Take care.


  10. The best possible of all birthdays, lovely Kitta. I am so sorry to hear about your grandfather. Sometimes the way the events of life line up seem so blasted unfair! When the shock fades from your loss, I hope you have a bushel full of great memories to cherish. AND… (Kitta family and friends take notice!)… No one’s 21st birthday should be ignored, even in the worst of circumstance… perhaps in time, when it feels right, a fantastic 21st celebration can still take place… it should! Be well


  11. Hope you had a good a day as possible. Look at it this way, in years to come you’ll remember this day, and be able to think back fondly to your memories of your grandfather.

    Happy Birthday.


  12. Happy Birthday, Kitta! I hope you have a great one – and oh, I wanted to mention that your idea of what you would’ve blogged about as a newborn, sounded very reminiscent of the baby Stewie on Family Guy. Have you seen this?


  13. You have a evil look in the baby!!! maybe Plotting a real bad #2 in your dipper lol. Happy Th and I hope you have and had a great day. Now you can get 22 smacks( one for each year and one for good luck) HAPPY BIRTH DAY!!!

    Dan M
    MA USA


  14. Well I do want to wish you a happy 21st bday and I also want to wish you my condoleances on the loss of you grandfather. I have lost all my grand parents and I know what its like to lose a family member.


  15. All the best wishes for turning 21 even though you understandably would have found it difficult to have a happy birthday. My friend’s grandad died suddenly last week and her 18th is tomorrow, so I cant imagine she will be having a particularly happy birthday either, but the main thing is to know that everyone wishes you well – and youve got a whole year to celebrate being 21, it doesnt matter if the individual day is spent on other more important things.


  16. This is a P/S I for got to say sorry to hear about your grand father. Sorry to hear that I hope your grand mother and the rest of your family are fine.

    Dan M
    Ma USA


  17. Its never easy loosing a loved one you’ve known your entire life. But you can take comfort in knowing your grandfather has lived a very long life, and has made enough acquantences that he will never be forgotten. He’s in a better place now, and if you’re religious, you can take comfort in also knowing you’ll see him when its your turn to leave this earth.

    On another note, congratulations on a successful year as a 20 year old. I’m sure life as a 21 year old will prove even more rewarding!


  18. PS. Laugh histerically at the plotting baby.
    (‘Plotting’ as in plotting for world domination, and not any other ‘plotting you know of…)


  19. What is it with July and August and everyone having birthdays… *counts back 9 months* Hmmmm end of year holidays???

    It seems that since my Birthday signalled in the mid year party festivities, its been a nonstop rollercoaster ride of friends celebrating their birthdays (often at the same time).

    I think their should be a birthday register, so you know if youre holding your party on the same day as someone else.

    Nonetheless, Happy Birthday dude (and despite what they all say, its all uphill from here)!!


  20. Oh Kitta ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

    I’m sorry for you. Losing family members, especially close ones sucks. Especially when it happens around a period in which there should be joy. Some close friends of ours lost their father on his son’s birthday. The ‘son’ is 40 or so, and the father was an old man, but you know, it doesn’t make it any easier.


  21. Pingback: Giocolando » Flickr ed il Viral Marketing spontaneo

  22. @Zenys and @Mostly Lisa: Sorry guys, false Birthday alarm. A WordPress plugin accidentally triggered and sent this old post link to Twitter while I slept. I only noticed when I saw a slew of messages and emails when I got up to get a drink. But thanks for the extremely belated birthday wishes. ๐Ÿ˜€

    I wish I was 21 again. ๐Ÿ˜‰


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