We have a wood fire in our house. I light it every night during winter mainly for warmth, but also because, well, I’m a former pyro. I was lighting to fire last night when I noticed the wood was so wet that it wouldn’t light…
Me: This wood is too… Ouch.
My voice trailed off into an ‘ouch’ after a bit of wood moved and brushed against my hand, my mother tried to finish off what I was saying…
Mum: Dry… I hate when it’s too dry.
Mum: The wood, when it’s dry it doesn’t burn.
Me: Ah huh.
My brother starts laughing.
Me: Damn that dry wood, if only it was wet.
Me: You said the wood wouldnâ€™t burn if it’s dry, when you meant to say wet.
Mum: Oh yeah, I meant wet wood wonâ€™t burn.
Me: Those damn dry treeâ€™s, youâ€™d think they would have the decency to stay hydrated after being cut down.
Mum: Alright, very funny.