2005 Predictions

McWater
  • Apple releases key chain iPods. They hold 20 songs and have a torch light feature.
  • McDonalds markets McWater as ‘fat free’ and a ‘chemical free alternative to coke’.
  • McDonalds also re-vamp Ronald, his clown suit is replaced with gym wear and he tells the kiddies “no pain no gain”. Kids retaliate and stab all the Ronald’s to death with plastic straws.
  • Paris Hilton finally does playboy.
  • Bubble wrap scarfs become a must have accessory after Paris Hilton wears one in her playboy shoot.
  • Cookie flavoured Coca Cola.
  • Spam will be considered a dirty word and anyone who ‘spams’ will be subjected to having to delete endless inbox’s full of spam.
  • Firefox and I.E battle it out on prime time TV, Firefox wins and eats I.E, but then coughs it up because it tasted off.
  • Oprah starts blogging.
  • People finally know what the word blog means because Oprah is doing it.
  • Google releases a search engine for your brain called ‘Broogle’, which gives you the ability to search through your memories and upload them to your blog.
  • A statue of Kylie Minogue’s ass is unveiled to pay tribute to Australia’s best export, her ass.

24 Comments on “2005 Predictions

  1. Your off to a great start, I believe McWater is about $1.30us for a 10oz bottle. As for Paris, I hope not, already seen more of her then need be.

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  3. Hahaha, that was a good one. I predict that McWater is going to be a great hit with the stupid people while Paris Hilton is getting it on with 12 men. Ouch. Kylie Minogues ass is like bronze, she may need to polish it sometimes.

  4. Never mind stabbing Ronald with straws (then again sounds like fun) maybe McDonalds will finally tell us why they put pickle in the burgers that everone i know just takes out and throws away

  5. This was hilarious! Nice predictions, Nikita. Every one sounds highly likely and absolutely possible that they’ll come true.

    Happy New Year!

  6. your predictions are frightfully accurate, as you are not the first to foretell such horror. news of Paris Hilton’s Playboy romp was discovered in a relief on a wall in an Aztec sun temple three years ago….spooky. her appearance, however, hinges on another event: she has to either grow breasts or have some installed.

    also, doesn’t McDonalds already sell Dasani? wouldn’t it just become McDasani?

  7. Excellent predictions, I like the McDonald’s water item. Reminds me of the idea of Dessicated Water… 😛

    Spookily enough, someone has already a ‘Broogle’ search already. It doesn’t claim to search your brain, though. Just Google for Broogle… 🙂

  8. Shouldn’t you have included a picture of Kylie Minogue’s ass so us Yanks could see what this aussie looks like down under. 🙂

  9. A prediction that goes with the google one, They will release something that isnt a beta. Maybe they will start with Broogle.

  10. LOL, I must see this Kylie Minogue statue… o.O

    And nobody would buy that issue of Playboy, cuz it’s not like shes showin anything the world hasnt already seen. Although, bubblewrap is wicked cool, so I may just buy it for the hot, naked bubblewrap.

  11. You know that they’ll somehow screw up McWater…. they’ll somehow make it so it will be even more unhealthy than the burgers. When there’s a will there’s a way and all that :).

  12. I worked at Macs over ten years ago. They sold McMineral Water for 50p (a dollar ?). It didn’t sell very well !!

  13. I bet that your predictions will come true.. well at least the ipod one!! and the paris hilton one, because, lets face it, there are people dumb enough out there to follow a trend like that …………….. and am I the only one,when reading the thread and comments about McWater and McApples, thinking about Rodney Rude and his McDonalds sketch???

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  15. Hello Kitta, here’s are my comments of your predictions list 😉

    >>>>Apple releases […] feature.
    Perhaps the truth… they plan to sell flash memory enabled ipod… (thinksecret). But the torch light.. ahem…

    >>>>McDonalds markets […] coke’.
    It’s the mood ! MacDonald’s perhaps plan to buy Evian 😉

    >>>>McDonalds […] plastic straws.
    ahem….

    >>>>Paris Hilton finally does playboy.
    She doesn’t have done it already ? 😉

    >>>>Bubble wrap […] one in her playboy shoot.
    The perfect marketing bit… hum.. brand 🙂

    >>>>Cookie flavoured Coca Cola.
    ahem !

    >>>>Spam will be […] inbox’s full of spam.
    Arf ! Reminds me to clear my hotmail-boxes-that-i-have-letted-down-for-gmail

    >>>>Firefox and I.E […] it tasted off.
    So real…

    >>>>Oprah starts blogging.
    Ready to bid ?

    >>>>People finally know what the word blog means because Oprah is doing it.
    Ready to bid (bis) ?

    >>>>Google […] memories and upload them to your blog.
    Not for me ! I have some kind of stuff i still look to censor even if I have a blog 😛

    >>>>A statue of Kylie Minogue’s […] ass
    What such a great representant of your country… :/

    Great imagination 😉

  16. Re McWater, truth is stranger than Kittka, or at least it was in 2004: “Company sells tap water for $1.77 a bottle: Coca-Cola Company spokeswoman Judith Snyder said on Tuesday that Dasani, Coke’s attempt to tap into Britain’s one billion-pound-a-year bottled water market, took its raw material from the water mains in Sidcup, South-East London. But she insisted the water then went through a complex purification process using three filters, including a “state-of-the art” process known as reverse osmosis, before various minerals were added back in to improve taste. We put the water through the finest purification processes available, so what ends up in the bottle does not resemble tap water at all. It is as far away as you can get,” she said.”

    Full story at http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/4432930/

    May the reverse osmosis be with you!

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