Adverse Side Effects

I sat on the bed in the treatment room. The bright fluorescent lights were hurting my eyes, so I looked at my shoes dangling below the bed. I tried to remember the last time I wore high heels. “Oh strappy sexy shoes how I miss you.” I thought. I’m interrupted from my shoe remembrance ceremony by the nurse, I’m to have a lung function and she is to perform it. Fantastic. After some instruction on what to do I take a deep breath – well more like a piss weak breath – and blow as hard as I can, which is also piss weak. Two more piss weak breaths later I’m inhaling some Ventolin and the nurse says…

“Now, if you feel shaky, like you’ve just been surprised, or you feel dizzy and possibly nauseous, don’t worry. It’s just the Ventolin.”

Why do they never tell you about the adverse side effects beforehand? “By the way, you’re head might explode in the next five minutes, but don’t worry, we have a bucket just in case.” No, I’m not worried at all. I don’t really like my head that much anyway.

“I didn’t want to tell you about that before, in case it freaked you out.”

Freak out? I can hardly breathe at the moment so if I even contemplated freaking out I’d probably pass out, but one would like to know of such side effect beforehand if it’s at all possible.

The lung function was necessary to see if the lung infection might have caused a slight case asthma, and would explain the breathing troubles I’m having. As it turns out, I don’t have asthma, after I was given the Ventolin it made my breathing worse, not better. I was informed that was good news, while I was trying to cough up my lung to clear my airway.

After I coughed up a lung, I was sent home with three new prescriptions to fill, including a sleeping pill which I decided not to fill because it contains lactose (lactose is used as a binding agent or coating in medications). which is a pity, it would be nice to be able to get some sleep.

13 Comments on “Adverse Side Effects”

  1. Egad! My deepest sympathies. As someone who once spent nearly two weeks in a hospital with a life-threatening case of pneumonia, I can certainly relate to the joys of not being able to breathe or sleep, as well as borderline-incompetent health care “professionals”.

    Hope you pull through okay!


  2. Kitta…
    …I dunno what to say except I really really want you to get better… Really soon.

    “So do I” I hear you say… 🙂 (Not being very helpful am I?)

    But I can empathise on the whole barely being able to breathe thing, which in turn gives me an insight into the whole, not sleeping thing… It’s pooey.

    Say, before your lungs went funky you weren’t… you weren’t blowing stuff up in your garage again were you?

    – Pleeeeeeeaaaaassse geat well soon!


  3. Ventolin is the shit. If anything will let you breathe, its Ventolin.

    Youll be right, dude. Go to the beach and let the sea air and hot sun get into you.

    Of course, Im intrigued to know what your motivation for wearing strappy high heels to a hospital was… sounds almost like those jokes from The Nanny about hooking a doctor 🙂


  4. Loddy, you’re like a little puppy dog hanging around me and making a face because I can’t play ball with you. Hehe. And no, I wasn’t blowing anything thing up pre-illness.

    Mortsraks, my immunity is not so good due to illness as a child, so I always tend to get terribly ill. Not fun at all.

    Kayhadrin, I am feeling the vibes.

    Metao, I wasn’t wearing heels at the doctors silly, I was dreaming about wearing heels again. That is why I thought “Oh strappy sexy shoes how I miss you.” And since my eyes are a bit sensitive to the sun and I’m dizzy, I doubt going to the beach would make me feel better. I do plan on going when I get better though, I need some sun and sea.


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