Two cops and me in a towel

It was a normal day in July, 2000. I had just woken up and I was walking to the bathroom when I noticed my brother jumping the fence. He’d forgotten his keys, again. I jumped in the shower and started to sing to as one does when showering. “Throw your arms around me” I hummed as I worked the shampoo into my hair and just as I was about to wash it out someone started knocking on the bathroom door. I was annoyed with my brother for this interruption. I grabbed a towel and loosely put it around myself, then flung open the door ready to yell (I mean talk loudly), at my brother when I saw something I didn’t expect.

Two young male police officers standing at my bathroom door.

I’m not too sure who was more shocked. Myself: The girl half naked in a towel with shampoo running down her face. Or them: The young police officers.

Officer #1: “Umm, sorry miss, we umm…”

Officer #2: “We had a report that someone was breaking in at this residence.”

Nikita: “Breaking in?”

Officer #2: “Yes, someone jumped the fence and the neighbours reported it.”

Nikita: “Oh, you mean my brother, he forgot his keys and jumped the fence.”

I try to re arrange my towel, it is slipping and I’m sure there’s some law against flashing an officer, even in your own home.

Officer #2: “Ok, so your safe then?”

Nikita: “Yeah, I’m fine.”

My brother walks into the kitchen, with a ‘why are you in a towel and talking to the police in our house’ look on his face, unaware he was the cause of it all. One of the officers points at him and I nod.

Officer #2: “Ok then miss, we’ll go now.”

Nikita: “Let my brother show you out, oh hang on, he needs the keys…”

Officer #2: “That’s ok, we’ll just jump back over the fence.”

They leave by jumping back over the fence and my brother and I stand in silence, trying to work things out. He shrugs and walks away. I make a face and go back to my shower. While washing the shampoo out of my hair I remembered something…

Where the hell was Harry, the fearsome guard dog that barks at people 5 houses away, during all this drama?

Fast asleep on the couch he was. He slept through the whole thing and I had to wake him and tell him off for not only sleeping on the couch, but also for not waking up when people jumped the fence. He replied with a snort as if to say ‘I knew they were cops, its cool’ and put his head back down on the couch.

It was no longer a normal day.

37 Comments on “Two cops and me in a towel”

  1. Do they have the right to enter someones house like this or did your brother let them in?
    Anyway I would probably have thrown them out even before knowing why they were there.
    And why did your neighbours not recognize him?


  2. Quick question…and call me slow but…what did your brother need the keys for that caused him to jump the fence instead.

    Is this implying that you have a fence that is locked. A security gate, so to speak?


    Confused American.

    πŸ™‚ Sorry…God is in the details.


  3. Lol, btw the last entry made me laugh so much. hehehe typical Perth weather. I’ll be over there in December-ish. πŸ˜‰


  4. That reminds of the time I was actually woke up by the cops. I had fallen asleep in my house but my parents forgot I was home. So they went out and set the alarm. The first time I rolled over it went off (But due to me sleeping like a log it never woke me up) so the alarm company called the cops and I awoke to a large black police officer pounding on the window demanding to know what was going on. And come to think of it my dog never barked when the cop showed up either.


  5. Similar happenings to me yesterday, minus the “shower/shampoo” part, but extremely embarassing. So I’m singing away on the toilet playing my guitar when low and behold, the girls from across the way decide to drop by. Yes well, they didn’t realize they were looking for someone IN the bathroom, and I didn’t realize the people outside the door were not roomates. I was playing the guitar loudly afterall. After shutting off the stink as fast as possible, I quickly checked my courage and watched as the girls ran headlong for their house. Ohh the glory…

    So what if i’m weird for playing the guitar in the loo!?


  6. LMAO i bet the cops didnt complain.. Im sure there is like a vibe they send out to all the dogz in the hood, that they are on THEIR side lol my dog is used to seeing my uncle in his police uniform so would be interesting what she would do…


  7. Snyke, no he didn’t let them in, and I’m pretty sure here they do have the right to enter anyone’s house when they get a report of a break in. My neighbours only saw the back of him as he jumped the fence, and he was wearing a black beanie. He must have looked robberish.

    Matli, My brother needs keys to open the front door. You know, the thing normal people use.

    Pugs, my Aunt did that to my cousin once too. But he woke up and rang the alarm company to say it was a false alarm.

    Chuckg, I’ve never heard of someone playing guitar on the loo. What songs do you play?


  8. That was really…..
    I haven’t been checking out your site for too long so its nice to hear something from a while ago. Keep doing it. It was entertaining.


  9. Lmao…thats crazy! How could you neighbours not know what your bro looks like lol, what an eventful day you had! Funny shit!


  10. hey kitta where all sort of wet and dripping and steamed up and soapey and sort stood with the towel sort of hanging on your wet soapy body all wet and soapy and sort of half naked, like wow,,, i need to go shower, lol


  11. Once I am in the shower, I am a lost cause. You’re a good girl for poppin’ out –especially with shampoo’d hair!


  12. Kitta: The better half of me of is saying “no don’t tell”, but the artist side (hah!), which is obviously the “unbetter half” is telling me to share. Typicall I jam out Floyd, Zeppelin, and any other finger picking extremity I can come up with. I’m working on Paranoid Android (Radiohead) right now, its oh so hard and oh so pleasant at the same time. The funny part is all of my accumulated guitar time is on the loo, or most of it…some people read, I play guitar.


  13. haha sounds like something from an aussie drama on tv nikita. Maybe home and away or neighbours could use that :P. I was actually surprised the police were there so quick :S


  14. Wish I had the experience of those officers. Was making a delivery, and a lady old enough to be my grandma answers. Me and my partner go in, and her shirt opens (it was unbuttoned), thank god she had a bra on. :shivers at the memory:

    As for the guard dog, good thing he didn’t bark. Could have gotten himself shot. Has happened in the U.S. a few times, in not too different situations 😦


  15. yay another B&W photo! =]

    What song was that you were singing in the shower? Throw your arms around me? *sigh* you lead such an eventful life, kitta! =]


  16. That, is a fucken classic. Yuo know, the cops have probably repeated their side of the story over and over at the local cop shop, and now when a cop car goes past yuor joint they’ll be all like “Hey that’s where we copped a perve on the showering sheila, mate that was awesome.”



  17. lol that’s hilarious..
    better dont tell ur neighbours its ur brother or else if a real burglar jumps the fence they might think its ur brother..


  18. Nice story…but the point that everyone has failed to grasp is that it didn’t happen. Yes I know you say it did…and the basis of the story may well be based on the fact that Police officers called…but I bet you were in the kitchen or they never disturbed you in the shower….you naked save for a towel discoverd by uniformed men is simply a sexual fantasy fuelled by your own ego….the fact that so many people then say things like ‘man I wish I was that Police Officer’ simply adds further drive to your own sexual desire to beleive that it was true…I am not castigating you …man we all have fantasies…in fact I think I might be having one with you in it right now !

    the story of the towel is simply your own sexual am right arn’t I? The fact is that the Police may have come to the house, or may have even entered the house….Your ego is driven by the fact that you knew


  19. No, you’re not right James. Your comment was so funny mate, I had to tell my brother and he thinks you’re looking into a bit too much. When I was writing it, or even when I’m telling it, it’s a funny story to tell and always makes people laugh. It’s not sexual. I’ve told this story to my grandparent’s years ago; do you think I’d tell a sexual fantasy that didn’t happen to my grandparents? I think you’re the one with sex on the mind and you’re twisting the story around. Or you’re just trying to stir things up.

    Anthony, I’m glad you enjoyed it. I quite enjoyed writing the retro entry.

    Chuckg, good to hear you play some Zeppelin on the loo. You should start writing some songs. Call the album “Songs from the loo”.

    Matt, no, you did not just say that! I hate those shows, and yes, I too was surprised about their response time. They must have been in the area. My friend was broken into a few weeks back and they took 45 minutes to get to her. 😦

    Jake, we had a TV ad here a while back where a kid gave his grandma some candy and she started to rap after eating it, and then flashed him. Quite funny, reminded me of what happened to you. πŸ™‚

    Ggb, I was singing ‘throw your arms around me’ by the hunters and collectors. I always sing it in the shower. I sing it everywhere, it’s my favourite song. You can find more information on them in the ‘lists’ section under ‘music recommendations’.

    Sorge, I never thought about that.


  20. Not to miss the whole spirit and zannyness of the story but I am still trying to find that one detail that puts the da-gone story together for me…I am a visual learner so please forgive me.

    I do understand what he needed the keys for but…

    You say you saw him jump the fence. If he had to jump the fence to get to the front or the back door of the house, what good would that jumping of the fence be if he didn’t in turn have the key to the bloody house?

    My only guess to this whole equation is that the back door was unlocked and he was jumping the backyard fence to get to that back door.

    That only leaves quandry of why the cops had to jump the fence to leave.

    Love the story my mind just want to put the pieces of the puzzle together.

    Again please forgive my slow learning curve…and my un normalness.


    Lost in the states. πŸ˜‰


  21. Laughed out loud at this – reminded me of my experience. I had just showered and dressed and was wearing one of those silly wonderbra push up thingies. It was misbehaving so I went to the mirror in the bedroom to adjust it and, after several minutes of pushing bits in and tugging at straps, I looked up at myself in the mirror and locked eyes with the guy from the telephone company up a pole outside the bedroom window! I have NEVER left a room so fast in my life!!! :S

    Still cringe at that memory – my brother was really supportive (laughed for hours and told all of his friends – cheers Stevie)

    Anyway, love your site!


  22. That is actually pretty funnnnnyyyyyyy hahahashahahahahahah ahahahaha hahahahahaha hahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahah ahahaha hahahahah (breath, breath) hahahahaha hahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahah ahahahahahqhaha hahahahahahahahahahha haahhahha hahahahahahahahaha


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