The Oprah Show Dream
I can’t believe people still don’t understand the purpose of personal/blog websites, it’s a creative outlet for the individual that owns it. Apparently blogs aren’t mainstream enough, Oprah hasn’t done a show on them yet. Even MS word doesn’t know what the word ‘blog’ is. It wants to replace it with ‘bog, bloc, blob, blot’ or ‘blow’. We’d be called ‘boggers’ if MS had its way.
I could just imagine Oprah doing a show on blogging. Ernie would be there, just because it’s my dream to see Ernie and Oprah in the same building for shits and giggles. It’s like putting electricity and water together, fun for all. I’m sure Taylor would somehow get in, he’d yell “But I’m the button/linkpool guy! I’m coooooooool ask kittamonga!”, and they’d let him in. There’d also be Jenny the boobless wonder, Heather the soon to be mother, and various other bloggers who agreed to be there for the free alcohol and food. Oh and I would be there, because it is my dream. 🙂 Some of it would go down like this:
Oprah comes out and soaks up all the love her audience is sending her. Audience member’s discus what Oprah is wearing today between themselves.
Oprah: Today I’m talking to people who own those mysterious things called blogs.
Audience: Ooooooooooo ahhhhhhhhhhh.
Oprah: What’s a blog you ask? Well I don’t really know, but my friend Gail has one, so it MUST be great!
Cuts to a clip showing various sites, and introduces viewers to the secret world of blogs.
Oprah: My guests today all own and run their own blog websites, where they write about their thoughts and daily lives. Ernie, you’re the gay asian voice of the internet…
Oprah: Are most of the people who visit your site gay? Are you friends with the queer eye guys? I just loveee them sooo much!
Ernie: Yes everyone who visits my site is gay and the queer eye guys are my best friends. I also eat puppies for breakfast.
Oprah notes Ernie’s sarcasm, and gives the floor manger the signal to make him go away, and then she moves onwards.
Oprah: I took a look at all of your sites last night while I was working out and listening to my iPod…
Taylor: Did someone say iPod?
Taylor looks under his chair and gives the camera man a look because he thinks his battery pack resembles an iPod.
Oprah: Heather you’re expected your first baby, and you’ve been blogging about the whole process. What is that like for you?
Heather: It’s great, once you get past all the emails from people telling you that calling your child a “*beep*ing bitch” is wrong. I thought you said there’d be food here? I need to feed the alien slowly growing inside of me NOW!
Taylor: Do you have any spare iPods left over for that free stuff show?
Nikita: Yeah, I’d love to get my hands on one of those babies.
Oprah gives the floor manger the same signal as before.
Oprah: We’ll be back after the break when we’ll talk to AOL about the blogging software that everyone – who has an AOL account – can use.
Nikita: Oh for *beep* sakes, AOL is…
Cuts to the commercial break.
Note: In no way do the personalities of anyone in The Oprah Show Dream resemble the real likeness of any of the people in it. Well except Taylor, he really would ask her for an iPod.