How to Tell if Your Dog's an Alcoholic

If your family dog has been acting strange lately, it’s possible your beloved pooch has been hitting the hooch! Dr. Kyle Blamonte, an animal addiction specialist, says the problem of drunken doggies has been growing at an alarming rate. “It starts off with a few sips of wine at dinnertime,” Dr. Blamonte notes. “Then you notice bottles of booze missing from the liquor cabinet. Before you know it, your dog is waking up in the gutter somewhere and can’t even remember how to get home.” Dr. Blamonte offers three tips to help recognize if your dog has a drinking problem…

  • 1. Pay attention to your dog’s eating and sleeping habits. If he loses his appetite and seems to be sleeping more, those could be early signs of depression, a drinking problem – or both!
  • 2. Check his coordination. When you toss him a Frisbee he should be able to catch it in his mouth, instead of having it bounce off his head.
  • 3. Check for the smell of liquor on your dog’s breath and fur. Some dogs get so inebriated that they start rolling around in the liquor-soaked ground.

“Look for changes in behaviour, “ says Dr. Blamonte. “Has your pet fallen in with a bad pack of dogs? Has he been spending nights away from home, with there being no explanation for his absence?”. “If your neighbours are constantly calling you to come pick up your dog, chances are he’s getting so drunk he’s wandering into the wrong house, “ says Blamonte. “When you walk your dog, see if he gets tangled up in his leash more than usual. That could be another indication of intoxication.” Dr. Blamonte says it’s important to act as soon as possible if you suspect your dog has a drinking problem. “Fortunately, there are many support groups for hard-drinking dogs these days.” Follow these tips to help your pooch lay off the hooch…

  • 1. Lock up your liquor cabinet at all times.
  • 2. Keep your pet away from other alcoholic pets in the neighbourhood who may be a bad influence.
  • 3. Keep your TV tuned to wholesome religious programming when your dog is in the room.
  • 4. Check your dog’s water dish to make sure he is not sneaking vodka in there.
  • 5. Check for a hidden stash of booze in the doghouse.
  • 6. Keep your pet occupied by playing fetch, Frisbee and other activities that don’t involve imbibing alcohol.

Maybe my dog harry isn’t really playing hungover after all… Ok ok, I am bored out of my mind. I do not have too cook dinner, because my mother is not at the old folks home working – So right now I have free time… Hmmmm. Maybe she’ll let me stir or cut up something. ?:/

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