I'm Not Dead

According to the internet, I died.

Screenshot

Which really sucks. I finally found a boyfriend called Wanky who loves me, even though I’m a dude, and then I suddenly died according to Maxpower.

I have so many questions… How did I die? Was it a terrible high-heel related accident? Why did my beloved Wanky find out about my death at a variety of ass forum? Was there delicious cake at my funeral? Why was Fiona the only person to send @reply condolences? And why can I still post to my blog even though I’m dead?

The internet life is so confusing. 😕

34 Comments

  1. Olly says:

    “why can I still post to my blog even though I’m dead?”

    You’re a zombie, obviously. Duh.

    Like

  2. Kitta says:

    @Olly: That would explain my craving for some brainnnnssss.

    Like

  3. Werd! Kitta, I find your ability to pick the interesting aspects out of a web-page and choose above average descriptors very attractive (:mrgreen:). You really make an awesome buzz-worthy information burrito! If I die anytime soon maybe we could… like hook up and stuff…

    Like

  4. JJ says:

    If you’re dead can I edit your wikipedia page?

    Like

  5. Fiona says:

    :mrgreen: glad you’re still blogging and twittering despite your death.

    is it cold there?

    Like

  6. grum says:

    Don’t believe the internet.

    It tells lies!

    According to the internet, I’m banging everyone on Perth.

    Ok.. now I tell lies.

    Like

  7. Fiona says:

    @grum: you’re only banging the hot ones is the truth, right grum?

    Like

  8. grum says:

    @grum: on? fuck grum, learn to be spellings good.

    Like

  9. SomeGen says:

    Oh noes! Not dead!

    and yes Grum, you do tell lies!

    Like

  10. grum says:

    @SomeGen: I COULD be banging everyone on Perth… as long as everyone but me leaves the city of Perth…

    Like

  11. dirtnap says:

    Tragedies like this always seem to fall on the holidays.
    Is there a memorial fund where we may send contributions in lieu of flowers?

    Like

  12. A says:

    “Why was Fiona the only person to send @reply condolences?”

    Guess we aren’t keeping up with you on those lesbionic websites… Also I haven’t tried twittering the deceased before…

    Like

  13. Kevbo says:

    Dibs on your iPod and MacBook.

    Like

  14. SomeGen says:

    @Kevbo: Srsly you don’t want her macbook, its nearly dead itself. I think an old Apple II would run faster :p

    Like

  15. freaky says:

    😕 that was just weird! i wonder how it started & how did you come across that?

    Like

  16. BanditBabe says:

    I’d be honored if you would come post on my little forum 😉 You have to join us to appreciate Max’s sense of humor! And Wanky would be speechless! Don’t be shy!

    ❤ Meredith, aka Bandit Babe

    Like

  17. Fiona says:

    @A: I must be srsly kinky then 🙂 I like hot chicks, but you know, if they’re DEAD that adds a little extra excitement?

    Like

  18. bobsully says:

    That explains this resurrection I’ve gotten. 🙂

    Like

  19. Matt Robin says:

    Obviously, by process of elimination: the monkey did it, in the Library…with a candlestick.

    Like

  20. Gentil says:

    You’re dead, huh?

    Wow… There’s so many questions that I want to ask about the afterlife, if there is such a thing.

    You know, the deep and philosophical sorts of questions.

    Like, ‘are there tacos?’

    And. ‘how do remove a pea that’s firmly lodged up your nose?’

    Good to see you posting, oh dead one.

    Like

  21. Wanky says:

    That Wanky guy sounds cute 😐

    Like

  22. Maxpower says:

    Hi.

    I hope you weren’t startled by the news of your death; the first few times are always the hardest.

    To clarify my original statement, in the time you got your blog (not that I did an in depth investigation), you “fucked up” your shoulder, had heart palpitations, and got new glasses……statistically speaking,you should have been dead by the time I made that post.

    I truly hope you don’t die soon, wanky has a crush on you…he and/or me want to make sweet sweet love to you…or have sex with you…your choice.

    Sorry wanky, she’s IS hot, for a dude.

    Like

  23. Maxpower says:

    I hate not being able to fix my grammtical errors.

    Like

  24. Anneli says:

    Oh man, when I die I hope the internet will let me know. :/

    Like

  25. kenny says:

    what i find most shocking about all this is, wanky has a gf? 😯

    Like

  26. Tigger says:

    may I suggest an e-restraining roder? 😐

    Like

  27. Tigger says:

    order even 😛

    Like

  28. Wanky says:

    I still love you by the way, and you just ignore me 😦

    Like

  29. Wendy says:

    Nothing like waking up and finding out you’ve died! lmao.
    You’re popularrr 😛

    Like

  30. sheepbat says:

    I suspect a horrible noodle accident.

    Like

  31. darkhorse says:

    Happy Belated Birthday Kitta

    From one of the original people who found your site a long time ago, and still checks back every blue moon or so.

    You’re all grown up now and it looks like you turned out ok. Cheers!

    Like

  32. Wanky says:

    Merry Christmas … 🙂

    (i still love you)

    Like

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