I never thought I would say this – it’s so ludicrous and I cannot even believe it myself. But I feel it needs to be said publicly…
I have become a Dr Phil viewer.
This past week I have been overcome by severe illness. It all started late one night with a tickle in my throat, while I slept the tickle swiftly turned into strep throat (Streptococcal Pharyngitis). I was subjected to 40°C fever and chills. I dehydrated to the point where my family begged me to let them take me to the hospital. Delirious and stubborn, I managed to fight off dehydration and my families plea. But I’m not sure how I did so, my brain seems to have locked away the memory in the ‘lets not go there’ section. I do remember my legs aching and telling my mother that I wanted “ice melted”… I meant water.
As I was recovering from asking for melted ice and a fever, my chest become jealous of the attention my throat was gathering and decided to become infected. Chest forced me to cough every few seconds, just to let everyone know that chest is hardcore and that throat better not fuck with chest.
Yes. I am medicated while writing this.
Then my sinuses finally decided to join the infection party. What ensued was days of, “is your nose still running?” jokes from my mother who has been caring for me. I felt totally lady like laying in bed with tissues stuck permanently in my nose. I’m slowly recovering, very slowly, which is aggravating. It’s not being sick that aggravates me. It’s the not being able to care for myself or do anything. My room is a mess, I haven’t done laundry or cooked myself a proper nutritious meal in over a week, a bracelet I was making is left uncompleted, I have a mountain of errands, friend to see, pancake craving to quench, plans and events to attend, zombies to kill, and I haven’t even been feeling well enough to game. I think the latter annoys me the most, as gaming is the what I look forward to most when I’m sick in bed. It alleviates my daily frustrations.
This is why I have been reduced to watching Dr Phil.
Maybe it’s the medication. Maybe I have residue delirium. Maybe it’s boredom. Maybe I suspect Dr Phil is operated by the Daleks and someone has to watch what those exterminating bastards are doing. Maybe I hope he’ll make a point instead of sound bite. Maybe I just used the word ‘maybe’ too many times in one blog post. I’m convinced – after a good weeks worth of forced research – that daytime TV is the root of all evil. But the root of all evil has been my only source of entertainment. The TV shows I normally enjoy are all on break, so I bow down to evil daily until I can get out of bed and return to the living.
I told friends about my Dr Phil – Philly, as I like to call him – addiction and I think they are now planning an intervention. Which is awesome. I hope they bring some DVD’s and pancakes.