Once upon a time there was a man called Mr Cunt, who lived in the land of Net. No one knew what Mr Cunt was like or even his real name, for he never introduced himself like other civilised people did. Once a month, Mr Cunt would email Princess Kitta of Littleredmonkeyville a message, his emails were like clockwork and the message was always the same; never more, never less…
You’re a fucking cunt.
That was how he got his name, Mr Cunt, as it seemed fitting at the time.
Late one day Princess Kitta was being as cuntalicious as she could, when suddenly she realised that Mr cunt had not emailed her the magical message in some time. She was devastated.
How was she to know if she was cunty anymore?
Days passed and no messages arrived in her inbox from Mr cunt. Only poisonous spam arrived, advising her that she needed a bigger penis to please her wife and informing her that a Prince from Nigeria wished to put his dearly departed fathers millions in her treasure room. As the months wore on and the Firefox versions changed; no ones penis got bigger and never again did Princess Kitta receive an enchanted message from Mr Cunt telling her of her cuntful status. Littleredmonkeyville was changed forever.