Mr Cunt


Once upon a time there was a man called Mr Cunt, who lived in the land of Net. No one knew what Mr Cunt was like or even his real name, for he never introduced himself like other civilised people did. Once a month, Mr Cunt would email Princess Kitta of Littleredmonkeyville a message, his emails were like clockwork and the message was always the same; never more, never less…


You’re a fucking cunt.

That was how he got his name, Mr Cunt, as it seemed fitting at the time.

Late one day Princess Kitta was being as cuntalicious as she could, when suddenly she realised that Mr cunt had not emailed her the magical message in some time. She was devastated.

How was she to know if she was cunty anymore?

Days passed and no messages arrived in her inbox from Mr cunt. Only poisonous spam arrived, advising her that she needed a bigger penis to please her wife and informing her that a Prince from Nigeria wished to put his dearly departed fathers millions in her treasure room. As the months wore on and the Firefox versions changed; no ones penis got bigger and never again did Princess Kitta receive an enchanted message from Mr Cunt telling her of her cuntful status. Littleredmonkeyville was changed forever.

The End.

43 Comments on “Mr Cunt”

  1. Pingback: Fighting Reality » No Fan Mail

  2. !

    Only a female could get away with writing such a post. No, strike that. Only a BRAVE female could get away with writing that. Well, at least around where I am, where the girls hit harder than the boys.

    Maybe Mr Cunt got over his/her insecurities, but it makes me wonder if the saying “treat ’em mean and keep ’em keen” is true…


  3. Thats a pretty damn good story…. and woohoo for sex related titties being back….. errrr… titles.

    And as for this: “no ones penis got bigger”…. speak for yourself!!!!!!! … no wait, and me. 😐


  4. I don’t know Kitti, you getting bad mouth lately :)) I think kitta need to go over knee and spanked :)))) sound like to much fun lol lol lol any way, you get all kinds of nuts out there be careful hah, I know not to long ago, I kid bought a CB from a guy from Internet and some reason the guy did get his money or kid was being a Ass about it or saying stuff about him. Then the guy sent him a package and it was rig as a bomb and went off killing him and hurting one other person. The kid lived in VT. scary stuff lots of nuts out there.
    So is ever thing alright there in Monkey land? :)))

    Dan Mac MA, USA


  5. I agree a bit more risque than the usual entry but it has been stated that you have a foul mouth..not that your mouth is foul but just the words that come out.


  6. I think Kitta is having the last laugh on Mr Cunt. Bravo!!!
    She no doubt contends with these types often. Such a prudish group….I do say


  7. If you need someone to resume calling you a cunt, you can try monster– I’m sure there’s someone there who can do the job. I’d offer, but I don’t call people cunt.


  8. Oh you’ll get some interesting search referrals after this post!
    I’ll admit, I’m interested to know if, in a way, you miss receiving that on-schedule e-mail.
    Despite the fact that it wasn’t a very nice one, it was a constant figure in your life.
    Or maybe Littleredmonkeyville is changed for the better now? : p


  9. Kitta,
    You’re a fucking cunt.

    But a pretty damn cool/funny/beautiful cunt at that. And about the “no ones penis got bigger” line… speak for youself! I purchased the swedish made penis enlarger as seen on Austin Powers off of Ebay!!! Funny thing is, it kinda just looks like a vacuum cleaner with the words “Penis Enlarger” written on the side of it….. 😐


  10. Here in the US, you cannot say the “C” word in front of a woman without her going ballistic. Must be because of the hard C followed by a U, N, and T (and that it is one-syllabelled).


  11. Dont be so hipocritical greyarea, whats the use of having the power of a dual 2.5 G5 and a 1 mps adsl connection if I can’t go downloading whole websites and check out its contents at my leisure 😉 I found that pic on one such site which I’ve downloaded the whole directory from.


  12. Ricky, I had no knowledge of LRM underwear being produced, but clearly, the little red bastard has once again left me out of the loop.

    Mark, I’d make that my tagline, but I’m already scared of the damage this entry is doing on Google. A tag line like that might push the ‘cunt’ searches over the edge.


  13. Ha ha… Kitta misses Mr. Cunt…

    I wish I had a million dollars… Cause then I could buy some digi cameras and a better scanner…


  14. lol!!! I didn´t understand in the beggining but was very funny in the end!!! I always receive these weird spams suggesting me to enchance my breasts (????). Kisses, Kita!


  15. Immanuel, you’re a fucking Kant! 🙂 ………. and… I might as well chime in with “you’re a fucking cunt!” myself… LOL….


  16. Even if you aren’t reminded of it, you’ll always be a cunt to me. Bollocks to Mr Cunt, he’s probably never seen one anyway!


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