I’m Not Dead
Posted on Friday, 28th November 2008 at 5:46pm- 34 Comments Ensuing
According to the internet, I died.
Which really sucks. I finally found a boyfriend called Wanky who loves me, even though I’m a dude, and then I suddenly died according to Maxpower.
I have so many questions… How did I die? Was it a terrible high-heel related accident? Why did my beloved Wanky find out about my death at a variety of ass forum? Was there delicious cake at my funeral? Why was Fiona the only person to send @reply condolences? And why can I still post to my blog even though I’m dead?
The internet life is so confusing. 
34 Responses to “I’m Not Dead”
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Olly comments: November 28th, 2008 at 5:56pm
“why can I still post to my blog even though I’m dead?”
You’re a zombie, obviously. Duh.
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Kitta comments: November 28th, 2008 at 6:00pm
@Olly: That would explain my craving for some brainnnnssss.
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So Awesome Man comments: November 28th, 2008 at 6:21pm
Werd! Kitta, I find your ability to pick the interesting aspects out of a web-page and choose above average descriptors very attractive (:mrgreen:). You really make an awesome buzz-worthy information burrito! If I die anytime soon maybe we could… like hook up and stuff…
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JJ comments: November 28th, 2008 at 6:39pm
If you’re dead can I edit your wikipedia page?
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Fiona comments: November 28th, 2008 at 7:03pm
glad you’re still blogging and twittering despite your death.is it cold there?
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grum comments: November 28th, 2008 at 7:10pm
Don’t believe the internet.
It tells lies!
According to the internet, I’m banging everyone on Perth.
Ok.. now I tell lies.
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@grum: you’re only banging the hot ones is the truth, right grum?
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@grum: on? fuck grum, learn to be spellings good.
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SomeGen comments: November 28th, 2008 at 7:20pm
Oh noes! Not dead!
and yes Grum, you do tell lies!
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@SomeGen: I COULD be banging everyone on Perth… as long as everyone but me leaves the city of Perth…
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dirtnap comments: November 28th, 2008 at 7:47pm
Tragedies like this always seem to fall on the holidays.
Is there a memorial fund where we may send contributions in lieu of flowers?
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A comments: November 28th, 2008 at 9:34pm
“Why was Fiona the only person to send @reply condolences?”
Guess we aren’t keeping up with you on those lesbionic websites… Also I haven’t tried twittering the deceased before…
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Kevbo comments: November 28th, 2008 at 10:04pm
Dibs on your iPod and MacBook.
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- I'm in love ...Nikita Kashner - Bandit's Forum... comments:
November 28th, 2008 at 10:09pm
[...] Looks like she noticed you, Wanky. Kitta.net – Don’t feed or spank the monkey ? I’m Not Dead [...]
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@Kevbo: Srsly you don’t want her macbook, its nearly dead itself. I think an old Apple II would run faster :p
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freaky comments: November 29th, 2008 at 12:51am
that was just weird! i wonder how it started & how did you come across that?
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BanditBabe comments: November 29th, 2008 at 3:44am
I’d be honored if you would come post on my little forum
You have to join us to appreciate Max’s sense of humor! And Wanky would be speechless! Don’t be shy!<3 Meredith, aka Bandit Babe
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@A: I must be srsly kinky then
I like hot chicks, but you know, if they’re DEAD that adds a little extra excitement?
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bobsully comments: November 29th, 2008 at 6:40am
That explains this resurrection I’ve gotten.
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Matt Robin comments: November 29th, 2008 at 2:32pm
Obviously, by process of elimination: the monkey did it, in the Library…with a candlestick.
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Gentil comments: November 29th, 2008 at 4:28pm
You’re dead, huh?
Wow… There’s so many questions that I want to ask about the afterlife, if there is such a thing.
You know, the deep and philosophical sorts of questions.
Like, ‘are there tacos?’
And. ‘how do remove a pea that’s firmly lodged up your nose?’
Good to see you posting, oh dead one.
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Wanky comments: November 29th, 2008 at 7:57pm
That Wanky guy sounds cute
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Maxpower comments: November 30th, 2008 at 7:44am
Hi.
I hope you weren’t startled by the news of your death; the first few times are always the hardest.
To clarify my original statement, in the time you got your blog (not that I did an in depth investigation), you “fucked up” your shoulder, had heart palpitations, and got new glasses……statistically speaking,you should have been dead by the time I made that post.
I truly hope you don’t die soon, wanky has a crush on you…he and/or me want to make sweet sweet love to you…or have sex with you…your choice.
Sorry wanky, she’s IS hot, for a dude.
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I hate not being able to fix my grammtical errors.
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Anneli comments: November 30th, 2008 at 8:35am
Oh man, when I die I hope the internet will let me know. :/
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kenny comments: November 30th, 2008 at 10:39am
what i find most shocking about all this is, wanky has a gf?
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Tigger comments: December 5th, 2008 at 10:38pm
may I suggest an e-restraining roder?
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order even
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I still love you by the way, and you just ignore me
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Wendy comments: December 10th, 2008 at 12:05pm
Nothing like waking up and finding out you’ve died! lmao.
You’re popularrr
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sheepbat comments: December 12th, 2008 at 1:00pm
I suspect a horrible noodle accident.
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darkhorse comments: December 24th, 2008 at 4:19am
Happy Belated Birthday Kitta
From one of the original people who found your site a long time ago, and still checks back every blue moon or so.
You’re all grown up now and it looks like you turned out ok. Cheers!
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Merry Christmas …
(i still love you)
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