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Dont even think about it...

I’m Not Dead

Posted on Friday, 28th November 2008 at 5:46pm
34 Comments Ensuing


According to the internet, I died.

Screenshot

Which really sucks. I finally found a boyfriend called Wanky who loves me, even though I’m a dude, and then I suddenly died according to Maxpower.

I have so many questions… How did I die? Was it a terrible high-heel related accident? Why did my beloved Wanky find out about my death at a variety of ass forum? Was there delicious cake at my funeral? Why was Fiona the only person to send @reply condolences? And why can I still post to my blog even though I’m dead?

The internet life is so confusing. :???:






















34 Responses to “I’m Not Dead”

  1. Olly comments:

    2. November 28th, 2008 at 5:56pm

    “why can I still post to my blog even though I’m dead?”

    You’re a zombie, obviously. Duh.

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  2. Kitta comments:

    3. November 28th, 2008 at 6:00pm

    @Olly: That would explain my craving for some brainnnnssss.

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  3. So Awesome Man comments:

    4. November 28th, 2008 at 6:21pm

    Werd! Kitta, I find your ability to pick the interesting aspects out of a web-page and choose above average descriptors very attractive (:mrgreen:). You really make an awesome buzz-worthy information burrito! If I die anytime soon maybe we could… like hook up and stuff…

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  4. JJ comments:

    5. November 28th, 2008 at 6:39pm

    If you’re dead can I edit your wikipedia page?

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  5. Fiona comments:

    6. November 28th, 2008 at 7:03pm

    :mrgreen: glad you’re still blogging and twittering despite your death.

    is it cold there?

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  6. grum comments:

    7. November 28th, 2008 at 7:10pm

    Don’t believe the internet.

    It tells lies!

    According to the internet, I’m banging everyone on Perth.

    Ok.. now I tell lies.

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  7. Fiona comments:

    8. November 28th, 2008 at 7:11pm

    @grum: you’re only banging the hot ones is the truth, right grum?

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  8. grum comments:

    9. November 28th, 2008 at 7:19pm

    @grum: on? fuck grum, learn to be spellings good.

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  9. SomeGen comments:

    10. November 28th, 2008 at 7:20pm

    Oh noes! Not dead!

    and yes Grum, you do tell lies!

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  10. grum comments:

    11. November 28th, 2008 at 7:23pm

    @SomeGen: I COULD be banging everyone on Perth… as long as everyone but me leaves the city of Perth…

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  11. dirtnap comments:

    12. November 28th, 2008 at 7:47pm

    Tragedies like this always seem to fall on the holidays.
    Is there a memorial fund where we may send contributions in lieu of flowers?

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  12. A comments:

    13. November 28th, 2008 at 9:34pm

    “Why was Fiona the only person to send @reply condolences?”

    Guess we aren’t keeping up with you on those lesbionic websites… Also I haven’t tried twittering the deceased before…

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  13. Kevbo comments:

    14. November 28th, 2008 at 10:04pm

    Dibs on your iPod and MacBook.

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  14. I'm in love ...Nikita Kashner - Bandit's Forum... comments:

    15. November 28th, 2008 at 10:09pm

    [...] Looks like she noticed you, Wanky. Kitta.net – Don’t feed or spank the monkey ? I’m Not Dead [...]

    Reply to this comment.

  15. SomeGen comments:

    16. November 28th, 2008 at 10:50pm

    @Kevbo: Srsly you don’t want her macbook, its nearly dead itself. I think an old Apple II would run faster :p

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  16. freaky comments:

    17. November 29th, 2008 at 12:51am

    :???: that was just weird! i wonder how it started & how did you come across that?

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  17. BanditBabe comments:

    18. November 29th, 2008 at 3:44am

    I’d be honored if you would come post on my little forum ;) You have to join us to appreciate Max’s sense of humor! And Wanky would be speechless! Don’t be shy!

    <3 Meredith, aka Bandit Babe

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  18. Fiona comments:

    19. November 29th, 2008 at 4:22am

    @A: I must be srsly kinky then :) I like hot chicks, but you know, if they’re DEAD that adds a little extra excitement?

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  19. bobsully comments:

    20. November 29th, 2008 at 6:40am

    That explains this resurrection I’ve gotten. :)

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  20. Matt Robin comments:

    21. November 29th, 2008 at 2:32pm

    Obviously, by process of elimination: the monkey did it, in the Library…with a candlestick.

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  21. Gentil comments:

    22. November 29th, 2008 at 4:28pm

    You’re dead, huh?

    Wow… There’s so many questions that I want to ask about the afterlife, if there is such a thing.

    You know, the deep and philosophical sorts of questions.

    Like, ‘are there tacos?’

    And. ‘how do remove a pea that’s firmly lodged up your nose?’

    Good to see you posting, oh dead one.

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  22. Wanky comments:

    23. November 29th, 2008 at 7:57pm

    That Wanky guy sounds cute :neutral:

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  23. Maxpower comments:

    24. November 30th, 2008 at 7:44am

    Hi.

    I hope you weren’t startled by the news of your death; the first few times are always the hardest.

    To clarify my original statement, in the time you got your blog (not that I did an in depth investigation), you “fucked up” your shoulder, had heart palpitations, and got new glasses……statistically speaking,you should have been dead by the time I made that post.

    I truly hope you don’t die soon, wanky has a crush on you…he and/or me want to make sweet sweet love to you…or have sex with you…your choice.

    Sorry wanky, she’s IS hot, for a dude.

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  24. Maxpower comments:

    25. November 30th, 2008 at 7:46am

    I hate not being able to fix my grammtical errors.

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  25. Anneli comments:

    26. November 30th, 2008 at 8:35am

    Oh man, when I die I hope the internet will let me know. :/

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  26. kenny comments:

    27. November 30th, 2008 at 10:39am

    what i find most shocking about all this is, wanky has a gf? :shock:

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  27. Tigger comments:

    28. December 5th, 2008 at 10:38pm

    may I suggest an e-restraining roder? :neutral:

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  28. Tigger comments:

    29. December 5th, 2008 at 10:38pm

    order even :razz:

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  29. Wanky comments:

    30. December 9th, 2008 at 7:10pm

    I still love you by the way, and you just ignore me :sad:

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  30. Wendy comments:

    31. December 10th, 2008 at 12:05pm

    Nothing like waking up and finding out you’ve died! lmao.
    You’re popularrr :P

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  31. sheepbat comments:

    32. December 12th, 2008 at 1:00pm

    I suspect a horrible noodle accident.

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  32. darkhorse comments:

    33. December 24th, 2008 at 4:19am

    Happy Belated Birthday Kitta

    From one of the original people who found your site a long time ago, and still checks back every blue moon or so.

    You’re all grown up now and it looks like you turned out ok. Cheers!

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  33. Wanky comments:

    34. December 25th, 2008 at 6:58pm

    Merry Christmas … :smile:

    (i still love you)

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  34. Wanky comments:

    35. January 17th, 2009 at 10:06am

    Kitta on Attack of the Show’s Women of the Web

    2nd!

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