I’m Not Dead
According to the internet, I died.
Which really sucks. I finally found a boyfriend called Wanky who loves me, even though I'm a dude, and then I suddenly died according to Maxpower.
I have so many questions... How did I die? Was it a terrible high-heel related accident? Why did my beloved Wanky find out about my death at a variety of ass forum? Was there delicious cake at my funeral? Why was Fiona the only person to send @reply condolences? And why can I still post to my blog even though I'm dead?
The internet life is so confusing. 
Related posts
Nikita is a 20-something year old geeky girl that resides in Perth, Western Australia. She is currently studying and working in the health industry. She spends her spare time blogging sporadically, taking photos, gaming, volunteering, geocaching, making jewellery and trying to stop the Little Red Monkey from taking over the world. So far, she's stopped him 36 times.
Photos
Reading
Tags
Blogroll
- Augusten Burroughs
- Becca
- Casey Mckinnon
- Emma Bergmeier
- Enjoy Perth
- Faruk Ates
- Felicia day
- Frisk Espresso Small bar
- Grum
- Heather B. Armstrong
- Jason Jordan
- John Birmingham
- Karen Cheng
- Kim
- Lisa Bettany
- Lulu
- Mark Christian
- Matthew Mullenweg
- Max Barry
- Passive Aggressive Notes
- Photoshop Disasters
- Richard Giles
- TechAU
- The Daily Knicker
- Tiah Eckhardt
- Web Designer Wall
- Wil Wheaton
- Zero Punctuation
Sponsors
- Affordable High Quality Leather sofas
- Auto insurance comparison
- Jetlo Cheap Flights
- Meizitang Australia
- RockyMountainTrail.com
.jpg)
Minions
There are currently 5 of the Little Red Monkeys minions present and 4,320,589 have done his evil biddings since July 18th 2002. Over 773,597 menacing spam comments have been caught and swiftly decapitated to punish them for their villainous ways. His ranting appeared on your screen at a rate of 1.358 seconds.
November 28th, 2008 - 17:56
“why can I still post to my blog even though I’m dead?”
You’re a zombie, obviously. Duh.
November 28th, 2008 - 18:00
@Olly: That would explain my craving for some brainnnnssss.
November 28th, 2008 - 18:21
Werd! Kitta, I find your ability to pick the interesting aspects out of a web-page and choose above average descriptors very attractive (:mrgreen:). You really make an awesome buzz-worthy information burrito! If I die anytime soon maybe we could… like hook up and stuff…
November 28th, 2008 - 18:39
If you’re dead can I edit your wikipedia page?
November 28th, 2008 - 19:03
is it cold there?
November 28th, 2008 - 19:10
Don’t believe the internet.
It tells lies!
According to the internet, I’m banging everyone on Perth.
Ok.. now I tell lies.
November 28th, 2008 - 19:11
@grum: you’re only banging the hot ones is the truth, right grum?
November 28th, 2008 - 19:19
@grum: on? fuck grum, learn to be spellings good.
November 28th, 2008 - 19:20
Oh noes! Not dead!
and yes Grum, you do tell lies!
November 28th, 2008 - 19:23
@SomeGen: I COULD be banging everyone on Perth… as long as everyone but me leaves the city of Perth…
November 28th, 2008 - 19:47
Tragedies like this always seem to fall on the holidays.
Is there a memorial fund where we may send contributions in lieu of flowers?
November 28th, 2008 - 21:34
“Why was Fiona the only person to send @reply condolences?”
Guess we aren’t keeping up with you on those lesbionic websites… Also I haven’t tried twittering the deceased before…
November 28th, 2008 - 22:04
Dibs on your iPod and MacBook.
November 28th, 2008 - 22:50
@Kevbo: Srsly you don’t want her macbook, its nearly dead itself. I think an old Apple II would run faster :p
November 29th, 2008 - 00:51
November 29th, 2008 - 03:44
I’d be honored if you would come post on my little forum
You have to join us to appreciate Max’s sense of humor! And Wanky would be speechless! Don’t be shy!
<3 Meredith, aka Bandit Babe
November 29th, 2008 - 04:22
@A: I must be srsly kinky then
I like hot chicks, but you know, if they’re DEAD that adds a little extra excitement?
November 29th, 2008 - 06:40
That explains this resurrection I’ve gotten.
November 29th, 2008 - 14:32
Obviously, by process of elimination: the monkey did it, in the Library…with a candlestick.
November 29th, 2008 - 16:28
You’re dead, huh?
Wow… There’s so many questions that I want to ask about the afterlife, if there is such a thing.
You know, the deep and philosophical sorts of questions.
Like, ‘are there tacos?’
And. ‘how do remove a pea that’s firmly lodged up your nose?’
Good to see you posting, oh dead one.
November 29th, 2008 - 19:57
That Wanky guy sounds cute
November 30th, 2008 - 07:44
Hi.
I hope you weren’t startled by the news of your death; the first few times are always the hardest.
To clarify my original statement, in the time you got your blog (not that I did an in depth investigation), you “fucked up” your shoulder, had heart palpitations, and got new glasses……statistically speaking,you should have been dead by the time I made that post.
I truly hope you don’t die soon, wanky has a crush on you…he and/or me want to make sweet sweet love to you…or have sex with you…your choice.
Sorry wanky, she’s IS hot, for a dude.
November 30th, 2008 - 07:46
I hate not being able to fix my grammtical errors.
November 30th, 2008 - 08:35
Oh man, when I die I hope the internet will let me know. :/
November 30th, 2008 - 10:39
what i find most shocking about all this is, wanky has a gf?
December 5th, 2008 - 22:38
may I suggest an e-restraining roder?
December 5th, 2008 - 22:38
order even
December 9th, 2008 - 19:10
I still love you by the way, and you just ignore me
December 10th, 2008 - 12:05
Nothing like waking up and finding out you’ve died! lmao.
You’re popularrr
December 12th, 2008 - 13:00
I suspect a horrible noodle accident.
December 24th, 2008 - 04:19
Happy Belated Birthday Kitta
From one of the original people who found your site a long time ago, and still checks back every blue moon or so.
You’re all grown up now and it looks like you turned out ok. Cheers!
December 25th, 2008 - 18:58
Merry Christmas …
(i still love you)
January 17th, 2009 - 10:06
Kitta on Attack of the Show’s Women of the Web
2nd!