Kitta.net - Don’t feed or spank the monkey

It’s a Boy!

Posted on Tuesday, 30th January 2007 at 6:39pm
10 Comments Ensuing

I receive some strange emails from time to time, ones that contain incoherent grammar and life stories about a dog named Jed who likes ice cream and I should totally meet one day, others contain nothing but questions that are so confusing it would take a crack team of code breakers to interpret. And from time to time I receive emails that clearly aren’t meant for my consumption…

From: Tammy
To: Nikita
Date: Jan 27, 2007 4:02 PM
Subject: Crossing Guards needed for January 29 – February 2

Please let me know if you can help out with this.

Tammy

I thought that informing the sender that they had the wrong email would be the swiftest way to stop future crossing guard spam. So I replied.

From: Nikita
To: Tammy
Date: Jan 27, 2007 5:46 PM
Subject: Re: Crossing Guards needed for January 29 – February 2

Tammy,

Sorry no can do, given that I am not a crossing guard and I have no idea who you are or why you are emailing me.

Kitta

One would think that would be equivalent to a “sorry wrong number” and the sender would get the idea. But not our Tammy.

From: Tammy
To: Nikita
Date: Jan 27, 2007 7:00 PM
Subject: Re: Crossing Guards needed for January 29 – February 2

I’m with the Kodiak Football League and once a month we do crossing guard duty to make money for the league. I received your name due to you having a boy in football.

Tammy

This Tammy, she is one smart cookie, she saw right through my reply. She knows that I am trying to get out of being a crossing guard at my imaginary boys football game. I thought it was about time to show Tammy who’s boss.

From: Nikita
To: Tammy
Date: Jan 28, 2007 1:00 AM
Subject: Re: Crossing Guards needed for January 29 – February 2

I have a boy? Last time I checked, I was sure that I have never given birth, and even if I did, I’m sure he would be more into CSS and surfing than football. That is how I imagine my imaginary child to be, a CSS ninja that surfs by day and codes by night. What is my imaginary child’s name?

And who is this person who gave you my name and said I am with child? I would like to talk to them about defaming my childless character and clear my child free name.

Kitta

Tammy has yet to reply.

Come on Tammy, be a good sport like your child and play along, don’t leave me wondering what my imaginary child is like. I just want to know his name! Just a name!

10 Responses to “It’s a Boy!”

Sevenupcan comments:

January 31st, 2007 at 2:51am

Wow a little CSS ninja, that’d be cool. What would his/her weapon of choice be? A {pair of braces} ?

Jay comments:

January 31st, 2007 at 7:05am

Surely ninja stars! ***

Mark comments:

January 31st, 2007 at 1:46pm

CSS pirates are cooler than CSS ninjas…

Jen comments:

February 1st, 2007 at 2:36am

LOL! Great entry Kitta!

Hello. My name is … » Blog Archive » Ever get email that you shouldn’t? comments:

February 1st, 2007 at 3:04pm

[...] Kitta, got just that, email asking her to be a crossing guard for her son’s football team. Turns out, she doesn’t have a kid! Read the email exchange that just cracked me up! I even read it out loud to Matt. [...]

imelda comments:

February 1st, 2007 at 3:07pm

this cracked me up so much! i even read it to my husband and blogged about it. too funny! i look forward to Tammy’s reply.

DanM comments:

February 1st, 2007 at 11:06pm

you sure you don’t a little Matt or two some where hahahha maybe you have one and you misplace them?

Jolynn comments:

February 2nd, 2007 at 7:57am

I just stopped by from the link on the bloggies award site. This post made my day. It is so funny. I love your response.

stevarino comments:

February 2nd, 2007 at 11:41am

I received a similar email, about a job offer for a youth coordinator in a Brooklyn, New York after school program. The thing is I live on the wrong end of the East Coast and I have none of the credentials or experience this woman listed. She wanted me to FORWARD it to EVERYONE I KNEW which I very much didn’t.

floreine comments:

August 4th, 2008 at 2:40pm

i even read it its good.

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Kitta

Nikita (Kitta) Kashner is a 20-something year old girl from Perth, Western Australia. Currently studying to be a medical scientist. Trained blogger, jewellery designer, writer, gamer, sexy geek and monkey tamer, who spends her spare time trying to stop the Little Red Monkey from taking over the world. So far, she's stopped him 43 times... Continue?