Luke’s 25th
Posted on Saturday, 22nd October 2005 at 9:02pm14 Comments Ensuing
We threw Luke a surprise 25th birthday party Friday night, it was a fun night full of rubber chicken loving, bad dancing, singing Noodlez, drinking, little boy jokes and people taking photos of my crotch and ass (don’t ask), below is some photographic evidence of the night…
We have an inside joke about Luke getting, ahh, intimate with chickens (only bird flu free ones of course), so someone gave him a rubber chicken as a birthday present. He was not amused, and for the rest of the night refused to be in the vicinity of Miss Rubicken, he even threw her on the roof at one point. No rubber chicken loving.
Note: No chickens were hurt during the making of this party.
Tahlia brought a very interesting looking victory stick with her to the party, Candy could not help herself and promptly licked it, she likes licking things (and she is so kicking my ass for that statement).
Dahhhlinnnggg, I am so pimpin it! I wore Noodlez pimp hat for a majority of the night.
Sparklers provided copious amounts of entertainment during the night.
Tiffy is looking a bit too seductive for her age. We teach her well.
Note to self: Never hold a cake while someone blows out the candles, wax hurts, afterwards I said to Luke “what were you doing, trying to be kinky?”
Someone handed me the pimp stick and I said “is it hard? I like my sticks hard.” I’m all class.
Highlight of the night for me has to be Noodlez singing “I wanna take my clothes off”, and me capturing the moment on video. Yes ladies, he is single! 
Bachelor of Crap
Posted on Wednesday, 19th October 2005 at 10:46pm10 Comments Ensuing
Today I graduated with a Bachelor of Crap degree in the area of Brangalifer, the degree qualifies me as an expert in the elusive Brad, Angelina and Jennifer love triangle, and it was given to me by the University of Pointless Gossip Magazines (UPGM).
You know, a offering of a mountain of gossip magazines from a friend seemed like a good idea at the time, given that I was drugged up on medication, someone please stop me next time, I do not want to know Mary’s labour timetable next week.
Rantalicious
Posted on Friday, 14th October 2005 at 10:56pm17 Comments Ensuing
And now for a health update…
I had an asthma attack Thursday morning, my first ever, hopefully also my last. Infection wise, I have a nasty throat and chest infection, so far my sinuses are reluctant to join in on the infection party and I hope it stays that way, I’m despratley trying to get through this without antibiotics to avoid a C.Diff relapse. I also keep getting hives on the insides of my upper arms, antihistamines don’t seem to help and my doctor has no idea what is causing them. I have had them during flare ups and other illness this past year, might be due to immunity or possibly aliens laying eggs in my brain. I am trying not to scratch them just in case they are alien spawn related. But I do have good news monkey fans…
My voice has returned!
I am not sure if the treatment for the asthma attack helped or some lazy ass care taker in my body finally noticed the voice circuit breaker had been tripped and switched it back on, all I care about is that I can rant again. I tested my ranting abilities on my mother for breaking the phone, granted I still have to have coughing breaks between rants, but never the less, I am ranting baby!
Rantless
Posted on Monday, 10th October 2005 at 11:50pm26 Comments Ensuing
It has been over a week and I still can’t talk, I think it’s safe to say I am with virus. My once dormant asthma is now chucking a party in my lungs where breathing is not invited, meanwhile my throat is busy being sore, and I’m having to spend large amounts of the day and night trying to cough up my lungs instead of sleeping. My plan is to cough them up and upgrade to v2.0 lungs.
So-called friends and loved ones are enjoying my inability to talk, they keep informing me “it’s so nice and quiet when you can’t talk” with a smile, I retort with a ‘don’t make me decapitate you with a bendy straw’ look and cough over them in hopes they too will know what it feels like.
The worst thing about all of this is I can not rant at people, they could do some of the stupidest most immature things ever – like strapping some roasted lamb to their leg and swimming with crocodiles – and all I can do is sit back, glare, and wish I had laser eyes of doom like Keg. Oh if only I could rant!
Now, if you’ll excuse me, it’s about that time of day when I have to hack up a lung.
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