Ain’t Good Enough

I turn into the next aisle at the supermarket and see two men and a young boy, one of the men is eating some bird seed, he puts the bird seed down and proclaims...

"If it ain't good enough to feed a human, then don't feed it to a bird is what I say."

Ain't that profound?

Deli Lady

The lady at my local deli doesn't seem to like me.

Now I know that this shouldn't bother me, but damnit, I want to have a friendly relationship with my deli lady. I wish for it to mimic the relationship I had with my previous deli lady - she was epitome of all deli ladies worldwide - ex-deli lady would make jokes about how anybody could beat her prices, but since everywhere else was closed I was screwed, so I better bloody enjoy the insanely over priced can of tuna.

The new owner is not the same, not at all, she always has this look about her, a look that says at any moment she could to pull out a rifle and yell "you steal gum you die motherfucker" and I don't even like gum.

I've tried to get her to warm to me, by keeping my hands in clear view so she could see no gum stealing was in progress or by presenting the exact change for my purchases, but she still gives me a "die motherfucker" look.

Maybe she does this to scare off potential gum thieves (gum can be hard to obtain) or maybe she had some sort of plastic surgery disaster that makes her that way. What ever it is, I'm going to keep trying to crack her, get her to at least smile and release the grip on her gum bandit killing rifle, if only for a second...

But if she doesn't warm up to me soon, I'm going to steal some gum just to fuck with her.

Right o

Kitta: Right o.
Sergio: Right o?
Sergio: Dude, you just lost like a gajillion points of cool.
Sergio: Right o... jeez.
Sergio: What's next? "Tubular"?
Sergio: "Oopsie daisy"?
Kitta: Why don't you go outside and play hide and go fuck yourself.
Sergio: HAHAHAHAHA!
Sergio: I love pissing you off.
Kitta: I love retorting.
Sergio: You write so mean when you're pissed off.
Kitta: Only for you, baby.
Kitta: Only you.
Sergio: It warms my heart, it does.

Birthday List

Mum: What do you want for your birthday?
Me: A digital rebel XT.
Mum: How much is that?
Me: About $1500.
Mum: So... What else do you want for your birthday?

Jade commented that it's hard to think of something to give as a 21st gift and I have to agree - I'm still trying to find something perfect for Candy (start with the hints girl) - she suggested I should write a list, I have, and here it is...

• Ashton AV442 violin
• A FoofPod in blue split
• Logitech MX 1000 cordless laser mouse
• Computer tool kit (I keep stealing my brothers)
• UGG boots
• Hunna's Under one roof and Natural Selection DVD's
• Curious Perfume
• A Victoria's Secret, Jinx, Thinkgeek, Threadless, Emitions or Game Head gift certificate.
• Silk knitting needle case (in gold/lavender), needle sleeve (in lavender) or a knit one bag (in mandarin)