Kitta.net - Don’t feed or spank the monkey

Wet Wood

Posted on Tuesday, 21st June 2005 at 5:54pm

We have a wood fire in our house. I light it every night during winter mainly for warmth, but also because, well, I’m a former pyro. I was lighting to fire last night when I noticed the wood was so wet that it wouldn’t light…

Me: This wood is too… Ouch.

My voice trailed off into an ‘ouch’ after a bit of wood moved and brushed against my hand, my mother tried to finish off what I was saying…

Mum: Dry… I hate when it’s too dry.
Me: What?
Mum: The wood, when it’s dry it doesn’t burn.
Me: Ah huh.

My brother starts laughing.

Me: Damn that dry wood, if only it was wet.
Mum: What?
Me: You said the wood wouldnâ€™t burn if it’s dry, when you meant to say wet.
Mum: Oh yeah, I meant wet wood wonâ€™t burn.
Me: Mmm.
Me: Those damn dry treeâ€™s, youâ€™d think they would have the decency to stay hydrated after being cut down.
Mum: Alright, very funny.

10 Responses to “Wet Wood”

Keg Says:
June 21st, 2005 at 7:49pm
*chuckles*

Silly mums
Steph Says:
June 21st, 2005 at 8:00pm
Haha, my mum is just the same, always getting her words wrong. Its good for the amusement factor.
Youkie Says:
June 21st, 2005 at 8:30pm
O god Kitta… And the Deoderant can story is STILL funny…
Pringles Says:
June 22nd, 2005 at 1:58am
Oh you two are so mean to her sometimes hehe
Baron Says:
June 23rd, 2005 at 6:47am
Hey, where’s the bit where you pour petrol in there to give it a helping hand?

I hate wood-fires, lol. We have one. But why don’t you let it burn all day as well, so that you don’t have to light it every night.
Smallest Photo Says:
June 23rd, 2005 at 5:20pm
Hey Kitters - a little off topic I know but I came across this article and wondered how in the world you’ve managed not to produce these yourself???
Kitta Says:
June 23rd, 2005 at 11:53pm
Baron, we don’t have enough wood to let it burn all day long and it only takes 5 minutes to light if you’ve got some small sticks.

Smallest Photo, I’ve been meaning to give it a go, my brother has a computer chip one (sort of like the Eprom Necklace) which is quite cool.
Nic Seow Says:
June 25th, 2005 at 1:55pm
Hiya, I’ve just come back from WA (to Singapore), and we had wood fireplaces in some of the places we stayed in. They’re fun - I used tourist brochures to get them started when I ran out of newspapers, Not as fun as fireball soccer, though.

Oh, Kitta - you should really try making geek-jewellery, they’re actually really easy. Take this one for example. I made one by myself using nothing but a pair of scissors. (I used telephone wire, though, didn’t have any more spare cat5).

Fancy finding this amazing site AFTER returning from Perth…
Kitta Says:
June 25th, 2005 at 10:42pm
Nic Seow, I’ve been thinking about making some geek jewellery for a few years, ever since my brother made a computer ship necklace. And I’ve seen the Zellstyle ones (and linked to them), they’re pretty cool.
Nate Says:
June 27th, 2005 at 1:53pm
That reminded me of a scene from dumb and dumber… lol

no offence

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