Del Genius

I sat in a doctor's office watching the doctor struggle to write a letter. He was trying to delete some text, but backspace was being temperamental. He kept trying while I sat there thinking "Del dude, del". He then finally gave up and said...

Doctor: "You're the computer genius, what do I do?"
Me: "Umm, del."
Doctor: "What?"
Me: "Delete."

He gave me a confused 'What is this language you speak of?' look, I replied with a sigh and lent over to hit 'del' for him. The text magically disappeared and all was good... Applause ensued, streamers flowed around me and I was presented with a bouquet of flowers and a tiara (the ...'s represent where I started being sarcastic).

I'm a del genius.

Chewed

We have a problem... Camp is a chewer.

She didn't let her problem come to the surface during the first few weeks, she was clearly trying to hide it, but then the urges became too strong and she JUST HAD TO CHEW SOMETHING!

The something's started off harmlessly with her large variety of toys. She de-caped her dog beer, de-squeaked her daily rover, and gnawed away at her ball on a rope. But that wasn't enough, oh no, the toys didn't quench her insane thirst to chew something, and this morning she finally sunk to all new chewing lows...

She chewed a wooden door stop.

We're now contemplating counselling to help her deal with her chewing addiction.