Five Little Aliens

Sent to me via the FAQ form...

Five little aliens, on a see saw, but one got blown to smithareens and then there were four.
Four little aliens going home for tea, but one got blown to smithareens and then there were three.
Three little aliens going to the loo, but one toilet was boobytrapped and then there were two.
Two little aliens, eatting sally lunns, but one bun was poisoned and then there was one.
One little alien, feeling like a winner, he'd gotten rid of all his mates and scoffed all their kitta was hot, so, so, hot.

Poor little aliens.

Christmas Jewellery

Getting into the Christmas sprit.

Necklace features a beautiful lampwork Christmas tree pendant that I got on eBay last year (I can't remember the seller's name. Chockadoo was the eBay seller that designed it) and assorted red/green glass beads.

32 Hours

The antibiotics I'm taking read...

"Take ONE capsule FOUR times daily every EIGHT hours."

Clearly, one must need some sort of a time slowing device, because there are only 24 hours in a day (unless the world voted on 32 hour days and forgot to mention it to me) and you'd need at least 32 hours to take one tablet every eight hours.

I love how they put the numbers in caps, like four, eight and one are attention whores...

"LOOK AT ME! SCREW 'take' AND 'daily', I AM SOOOO MUCH CUTER. DOES MY ASS LOOK BIG IN THIS FONT?"

Tree Ports

My brother and I were watching Russell Coight’s celebrity challenge. Chrissie (the model) was sitting with a Powerbook in her lap, tapping away while explaining her website to one of her fellow campers…

Me: I didn't know they have WIFI in the outback.
My Brother: Yeah, but not WIFI, there’s ports in all the trees.
Me: So the cables go through the roots?
My Brother: Pretty much.

Adverse Side Effects

I sat on the bed in the treatment room. The bright fluorescent lights were hurting my eyes, so I looked at my shoes dangling below the bed. I tried to remember the last time I wore high heels. "Oh strappy sexy shoes how I miss you." I thought. I'm interrupted from my shoe remembrance ceremony by the nurse, I'm to have a lung function and she is to perform it. Fantastic. After some instruction on what to do I take a deep breath - well more like a piss weak breath - and blow as hard as I can, which is also piss weak. Two more piss weak breaths later I'm inhaling some Ventolin and the nurse says...

"Now, if you feel shaky, like you've just been surprised, or you feel dizzy and possibly nauseous, don't worry. It's just the Ventolin."

Why do they never tell you about the adverse side effects beforehand? "By the way, you're head might explode in the next five minutes, but don't worry, we have a bucket just in case." No, I'm not worried at all. I don't really like my head that much anyway.

"I didn't want to tell you about that before, in case it freaked you out."

Freak out? I can hardly breathe at the moment so if I even contemplated freaking out I'd probably pass out, but one would like to know of such side effect beforehand if it's at all possible.

The lung function was necessary to see if the lung infection might have caused a slight case asthma, and would explain the breathing troubles I’m having. As it turns out, I don't have asthma, after I was given the Ventolin it made my breathing worse, not better. I was informed that was good news, while I was trying to cough up my lung to clear my airway.

After I coughed up a lung, I was sent home with three new prescriptions to fill, including a sleeping pill which I decided not to fill because it contains lactose (lactose is used as a binding agent or coating in medications). which is a pity, it would be nice to be able to get some sleep.